Anonymous protest letter. Original was typed (fixed character
width) - format preserved below. US, 1992.
CULTURAL SANCTIONS FOR THE CBS
BROADCAST OF "ANCIENT SECRETS OF THE BIBLE"
Initiated by the Self Appointed
Nonviolent Truth Avengers (SANTA)
FACTS On Friday evening, May 15, 1992, CBS broadcast nation-wide
a two hour special titled "Ancient Secrets of the Bible." In this program
the following claims were favorably presented:
(1) The earth is about ten thousand years
(2) Humans and dinosaurs lived together, "fossil evidence" for this
was displayed by a "geologist".
(3) Science does not contradict the belief that all current races
and languages originated at the Tower of Babel at about 3500 BC.
(4) Present racial diversity could have arisen in one or two generations,
as demonstrated by a "geneticist".
(5) An ancient Egyptian papyrus has been found that corroborates
events described in the Biblical book of Exodus.
(6) The Ark of the Covenant and the tablets containing the Ten Commandments
have been found under Temple Mount in Jerusalem, but were not recovered because
the Arabs rioted.
FINDINGS (1) All the above claims are false. There is no
material evidence for any of them. (2) Misleading scientific credentials
were attributed to some participants. (3) Fraudulent evidence was displayed.
JUDGMENT Those responsible for "Ancient Secrets of the Bible"
(1) misled children and adults, (2) debased the standards of television
broadcasting, (3) misrepresented scientific opinion and method, and (4) violated
the dignity of Judaism and Christianity.
The culprits responsible for this dishonest production are
judged to be: (1) propagandists for Jewish and Christian fundamentalism,
(2) CBS, (3) the commercial sponsors (over 25, eight brand names selected
(1) The following two slogans to be made public:
NOAH HAD CRABS
AT LEAST THE SECULAR HUMANISTS
NEVER TORTURED A "WITCH"
(2) "CBS" to be said to stand for "CERTIFIED BS"
(3A) The following three trademark parodies to be presented to
the children's oral subculture:
BALL PARK SNOT DOGS
KELLOGG'S FROSTED POOP FLAKES
(3B) The following five trademark parodies to be propagated to
ANVIL FOR ADVANCED PAIN
CHICKEN TONIGHT - DIARRHEA TOMORROW
MOTRIN IV PREPARATION
H SHRINKS EVERYTHING ULTRA SLIM/FAT
THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION. SANTA is a decentralized communication
process opposing deceit and exploitation of children by the media. We
use only education, rebuke, and satire. No person's name may be mentioned.
Anyone who loves the truth and obeys these rules may fully participate in
SANTA. If you can guess who this comes from, send me a copy (or leave
it on my desk or car windshield) to let me know you want to receive future
Take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth
. . . Psalms 119:43