This letter is being sent to you because we know you are critically interested in chain letters.
This letter is fertilizer club and will not cost you one cent to join. Upon receipt of this letter go to the top address on the list and shit on the front lawn. You won't be the only one there so don't be embarrassed.
Then make five copies of this letter and send to five of your best or worst friends. You won't get any money or checks but within one week, if this chain is not broken, you will have 3267 people crapping on your lawn.
Your reward will come next summer -- you will have the greenest lawn on the block . . . and no neighbors.
1. Mr Harry Butts
936 Corn Cob Alley
2. Mrs. Lucy Bowels 36 Bed Pan Court
3. Mr. Smelly Hind 583 Vierrech Ave.
4. Miss I. P. Freely 906 Constipation Blvd.
5. Mrs. C. Howie Farts 473 Fertilizer Way
From Barrick, Mac E. "The Typescript Broadside." Keystone Folklore Quarterly, Spring, 1972, p. 32. "An identical letter with the same names at the end, but with the word 'shit' substituted for 'crap' was posted on the bulletin board of a computer center in Carlisle during December, 1971."
The Paper Chain Letter Archive - contents Chain Letter Evolution.