Testimonials for Joy to You and Me & Joy2MeU - the Web Sites of Robert Burney

The Testimonial Page had gotten too large so I am breaking it into two pages in December 2003 - 3 pages as of October 2004. 4 pages as of January 2005 - and I have moved the last 3 to my silcom site because the Joy2MeU site has gotten so large.  The links within this page will take you to Joy2MeU.
to a page of


The Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence counselor, grief therapist, author, Robert Burney and Joy to You & Me Enterprises.

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Robert is the author of the Joyously inspirational book

The Dance of Wounded Souls.
Joyously inspirational Spiritual book - Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls


3D image of Joy2MeU Web Site of Spiritual Teacher, codependence therapist Robert Burney 


(Posted: 3-27-2003 - another batch.)
"I just read your wonderful book, thank you for writing it. I have been a spiritual teacher since childhood, however, your book let me organize my thoughts a new way, a new prespective. I now have a much deeper understanding and am still learning from it. Dance, is one of the truly transformational works of our time thanks again"

"Excellent, excellent, excellent!!  Well written.  Get's deep within the soul.  As a substance abuse counselor, I am forever trying to get into the very places you talked about with my clients.  Thank you, thank you, thank you. It is truly marvelous writing!"

"thanks Robert,  After years of analysis and reading many self help books on other subjects to try to find out the answers about my struggles in my life, I had always been under the impression that the subject of codependency was a term referring to people who enable alcoholics or drug dependent people, so I never even thought to read up on it. Now, after reading your writings, a miraculous door of insight has opened up for me, and many pieces of the puzzle are finally falling into place...I am going to order your book from your web site next week and I am sure I will treasure it always...it's as if you wrote it for me. thank you"

"I am so glad I found your pages because it has really helped me to understand what is going on instead of feeling like their is some nameless enemy in our home - or that I am just imagining it. This is the first extensive exposure I have had to what codependency really means. I am a recovering alcoholic & drug addict, (14 years) and years of counseling-I also struggled with codependency. Too many times the al-anons smirked because the only problem they had was "being too nice".  When someone states they are codependent, that usually means "oh, I feel sorry for you" not "Oh geez, I better run the other way!" Even in popular society the codependent is the "poor victim". Its almost as if the way in which codependency is understood and viewed by our society is dysfunctional in the very way codependency is dysfunctional."

"I just found your website today for the first time and must say I am very glad I did.  I am very grateful for your writings.  I too am the adult child of an alcoholic that has struggled emotionally throughout my life with many of the challenges that you mention throughout your writings.  I have read many of them already but look forward to reading all of them.  This is the first time I have ever seen on paper a perfect description of what it feels like to live with the destruction of growing up in an alcoholic home.  There is comfort in knowing that there are others out there working successfully through the many challenges we face.  Please keep up the excellent work!   There are many of us out there that need to read it."

"I just wanted to take a moment to thank you for your book (Dance of Wounded Souls) and your wonderful web site.  Over the last few years, reaching a head in the last year... I have gone through so much pain, praying that it would bring me deep inner healing, purpose and new life.  The pain is still here as much in my life is changing dramatically - but your work has helped me put a frame on a great deal of it.  Reading your site: The thoughts on Jesus & Mary Magdalene . . . . ; the thoughts on relationships . . . . . .. all I can say is I could have said what you so eloquently and honestly wrote.  Thank you so much for your honesty, integrity and for putting yourself out there to help heal people. You put much of what I felt were disjointed thoughts and experiences into my human experience as a spiritual being."

"Thanks so much for your helpful website.  Your information is so valuable and thorough.  Thanks for being an angel in my personal exploration process."

"Uhmm, Gosh I dunno what to call you..... Robert? Mr.Burney?   Anyway my name ___ I ordered your wonderful book about 2 years ago. And you signed it too Feb14th 2001. Thank you!  I didnt know what to expect because I never considered myself codependent. I found that I pretty much define the word.. lol   Your book has helped me so much... It would take pages to tell. I had moments when Id be reading then out of nowhere (subconcious-buried past stuff) My heart felt as if it broke open (crusty hard shells been there for awhile) Id cry like a baby and then It felt as if the "Hand of god" if you will reached down and Healed that part of me and my life issues. It literally felt like a weight off my heart. God bless you for your website, your book, and your life issues as well. I know I sound really cheesy but I dont know how else to to thank you for your help. I visit your website still and always find it helpful. How come your book isnt in the Major bookstores? It SHOULD be its the BEST one Ive found on my healing path and I have alot of them. Its the one I always go back to. I feel my guides-angels led me to your site because Ive never been able to remember how I found it. Hmmm...  "Ask and it shall be opened unto you"  ::: smile:::

I think your a wonderful person and I find it nice to see and read about someone who's awake and humble enough to share with the rest of us. Emotions and core issues arent always easy to admit let alone share. With people like yourself its easier for the rest of us to Identify and work towards healing our inner children and their pain from the past. Also Its nice to not feel so alone. Although Ive found alot of my stuff is also carry over from other lives as well.. Its really neat to see and know that it never ends and it keeps getting better. The more I think I know the more I see I have to learn. I dont mean to ramble so I'll cut this one off. Thank you again and bless you!!!!!"

In January 2002 I wrote an article to Parents of Alcoholics and Addicts for my suite 101 page - it was in responce to an e-mail from a parent in anguish about a childs addiction.  The person who wrote that e-mail sent an e-mail thanking me for my February Update.

"From a wounded soul in recovery, keep going!!! Thanks for your emails (Updates.) They encourage me! It's good to know that one is not on the Journey alone! I have discovered that Life is an adventure! thanks!"
"Until I opened the book, this peerless work of what will come to be regarded as the "Unified Field Theory" of personal and collective transformation, I thought that nothing could compare to the resources on your web site. But nothing, absolutely nothing equals the power of listening to you speak these words of freedom and joy. . . . . . .Had you been just any old Spiritual genius, just any powerful communicator, just any original writer and thinker, these would be masterworks. What propels this into Metaphysical Hyperspace for me is how intricately woven are the strands of this perfectly unfolding process. _____, I said to myself, you Young Crone, you Bear-woman you, you are exactly where you need to be doing exactly what you need to be doing and looking like exactly what you need to look like. Robert, it is like you have taken a rope ladder and thrown it into hell and called out a way to climb hand over hand, rung by rung until I reach up and find the next thing I touch are the fingers of the Great Spirit who takes me the rest of the way. Robert, I could trumpet your praises for just being an extraordinary writer and thinker. I could express my gratitude to you forever for just being alive right now. But this is different. Orders of Magnitude different. This is Real!"

"Robert I wanted to let you know just how much your writing have helped me so much.  I been working a lot on healing the inner child.  I did not know for years that I had one and now I do know that I am glad that I found your web site and May God's blessing be with you"

"Hi Robert, I did indeed get your book and have been working my way through it.  I am quite inspired by your views.  You have come to many of the same conclusions that I have in my search for Truth.  Page after page I'm nodding my head.  And as you can well imagine, finding your web site came at just the right time in my journey.  Things have been coming together for me and your book (and web site) are weaving it all into something coherent. I hope that you are receiving all that you can in your life.  You truly are an inspiration.  Thank you for answering your calling to write this."

". . . you are helping me so much.  nobody else could know the intimacy of my woundedness, the delicate hurts and dark pains of my soul as you would.  thank you, Robert"

"Thanks Robert, I received your package on my Tuesday and have been delighted with your wonderful and intuitive insights from a Spiritual perspective. . . . . Once again, thank you for the opportunity of sharing you lifeís experience with one who has suffered too much and is committed to the journey of healing.  You are an extremely gifted individual and I intend to make you known with my support group.  Gratefully yours."

"Thank you for the inspiring and very helpful information contained on your web page. I haven't decided to buy your book or join the journal site yet.  However, you present ideas and suggestions I have never tried. Heaven knows I have tried everything else I could think of to understand and cope with all the dysfunction and unhappiness in the 58 years I have spent in this lifetime:  doctors, pshchiatrists, anti-depressents, alcohol, drugs (legal and illegal), addictive relationships, running away, shutting down my emotions, escaping into depression, and tragically even attempting suicide.  Intellectually I know what you have to say is very close to the truth and could heal the pain in my heart.  I am just so tired of trying only to find that I keep going back to the old ways.  Why does it have to be such a tough battle every day?  I feel so alone, even when I am in therapy or have people who love me.  If knowledge is power, then I want it.  I am so tired of being ignorant of how I can overcome the past and live in love, peace and harmony with myself and others.  I saved your web site in my "favorites" folder so I can go to it for inspiration and guidance. Thank you for sharing the wisdom and truths you have discovered.  From a new reader"

"Robert, I want to tell you how much I have grown and learned from your pages."

"Dear Robert , Blessings to You for having the guts to Heal Yourself and formulating the wonderfull strong messages of Truth Love and Healing that are present in Your book. I already have the audiotapes and I listen to them over and over again. I think I've listened to them a 100 times and I still feel that I'm learning and Healing on a deeper level. . . .Blessings to You Robert for doing your extremly valuable work!!!"

"I received your books and tapes yesterday, thankyou, I would also like to let you know that I have been reading your web site for about a year now and find your site has so much Truth about it.Over a period of time I will be keeping in touch with you with questions etc.So do keep up the good work as you are a great credit for mankind."

"Thank you for your beautiful website and the healing that I am sure that it will contribute to on my path to recovery. With much gratitude for your healing work."

"Dear Robert: I want to take this opportunity to thank you for answering my e-mail.  I have put your new site Joy2You etc. in my favorite folders and look forward to any updates and news you send to people who need help.  I have spent a couple hours reading your works and they are wonderful news to my mind.  I am definitely going to buy your first book.  My best friend and soul mate is very supportive and wants to make this journey with me.  He needs to heal his inner child also. . . .We want to make a new start and begin the healing process so necessary in our lives.  You have been a light in this darkness we have always lived in and thought we were lost in.  Phone counseling may be an option and I believe Codependency Anonymous will be seriously considered, although neither of us are very outgoing or social right now.  We feel like our lives have been wasted, but you give me hope that help can and will be found if we pursue the desire of our Spirits to find peace, happiness and joy from within and be able to share those things with one another and our families , whom we want to love so much.  Thanks again.  You are a person with a gift and you are sharing it with your fellow man.  May God bless you in this very important calling."

"Hello Robert.  It's about 12:02 am and I was unable to sleep so I decided to get up and make some herbal tea and read your website.  This I knew would help me gain some equilibrium and serenity while I waited for the tea to cool. . . . I want you to know that you are my "friend" in the sense that when no one else can 'hear' my pain, my fear, my anger, my loss, that I know you do.  I wrote you awhile back about my best friend who found the courage to leave her lover after reading your website.  She went out and bought your book and cassettes for us after that.  I listened to the cassettes the entire time I was separated from my husband and I was feeling panic and terror and loss. . . . . .What I appreciate the most about your work and honest sharing, Robert, is the support and celebration of all that we are all the time; the reminder that unless we grasp how important it is to accept ourselves in the moment no matter how we feel, we'll continue to live out shame and blame. . . . .Thanks for listening to me.  Not just because I wrote all of this, but because I feel as if you are listening to me when I'm reading your site, listening to the tapes as I say things outloud or write my feelings or cry out in pain and grieving.

I'm looking forward in many ways to being on my own, yes it is terrifying and yet I know I will be able to find a coda meeting because I'll be in a bigger city and THAT makes me feel really hopeful because it means support and more healing.  I agree with you that our healing is lifelong and continuous and not something that at some point stops and we are free and healed and forever joyful.  I too have read hundreds of healing books searching and searching for relief.  I've gone to SF to take rebirth training, I've read any book on codependency recovery and healing there is and often I find that I have to put the books down because my shame gets too intense.  Alice Miller is one of my mentors as I like to call her because she makes me truly feel loved and accepted as a wounded child, she makes me feel believed in.

Thank you too for being vulnerable and brave enough to share your true story, your life, your "real" reality with people. This is something I've advocated for for many many years as a person who writes to others with great emotional intensity and truth as well.  I have people who celebrate these emotional truths and revelations with me and I have people who hate that I do this [including my husband].  I've realized that I have to do this in order to survive.  It feels real and right for me.  For so many years I kept the secret for the family.  The incest and all the rest.  I'm also a birthmother that lost a baby and that is something else I wasn't "supposed" to talk about.  My daughter found me at age 25 and it's been 9 years now since we "met."  It's finally feeling better for both of us.  This was the most devastating thing that ever happened to me and affected my life greatly.  I have many things to be grateful for and I have many things to share.  YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION to my healing,  my writing and my recovery.  I turn to you whenever I feel I am slipping into the abyss.  Thank you with all my heart Robert."

These testimonials fill my heart so I thought I would use the hearts here.
August 3, 2003 - A number of the testimonials I am adding today include queries about where to find my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls (clicking on the title link will take you to my ordering page)  In my January 2002 Update I addressed the issue of where people can find my book, because it is a pretty common for people who find the site to assume that they can go out and find my book at their local book stores.  Unfortunately that is not true in most cases. - 9-7-03 Decided to leave this here for anyone who does want to find the book.
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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995.  Material on Joy to You & Me and Joy2MeU web sites (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 through 2005 by Robert Burney  PO Box 977 Cambria CA 93428.

More Testimonials

(Posted: 2-7-2003 - they are coming in too fast to wait a whole two months ;-)
"Chapter 13: Wow! I read the entire chapter with my mouth in one big " O " of gratitude and astonishment. If you had written this chapter as an Epistle to the Stuck and at my personal beseeching for help, it could not have addressed my present situation any more precisely and specifically. This  whole process is so amazing. That I am alive at the same moment in history as one who, I believe, future generations will recognize for his contribution to the Spiritual evolution of humankind is simply mind-blowing to me. Robert, when you said that we are powerless to do anything except Karmic settlement, I realized that everyone and everything is my teacher. The universe has sort of accelerated the rate of the lessons of the past in the guise of people who are pressing my buttons like crazy. I have been asking myself, "What are you doing wrong; why are you making so little progress with this?" Robert, these people are simply revealing to me what I have been judging myself and shaming myself for. The humor would be delicious if I could laugh and cry at the same time. It is just exquisite, isn't it? It hurts so much; yet, I feel just like dancing. I think I will go dance. I have been trying so hard to be this perfect little girl so someone would love me. I have spent all of my life working on my life like it is a project that I need to get other people interested in so they would love me and take care of me and help me. All this time, it has been less like a project and more like a dance. Chapter 13: Wow!"

"At 45, I am finally ready to start life over again....to heal old wounds, to end old dysfunctional patterns, to be the best I can become. I love your writings.....they touch my soul. Some feel as though I could 've written them myself. I will get your book.....so far I've just gone through the web site. Obviously I was drawn here for a reason. "When the student is ready, the teacher will come". Thank you for this web site."

"Thank you so much for the personal reply to my lengthy e-mail. Yours is an amazing voice of generosity, courage and hope for those of us who are lucky enough to find you and who are ready to hear your message. The empathy that you feel for your fellow travelers is truly remarkable."

"I cannot believe the timing of your email to me.  I actually made myself come home early yesterday and the first thing I planned to do was go directly to your website and read some more.  (You have lots of stuff to read!)  And there you were in my email.  I was so surprised that you responded but when I started reading your email, I was overwhelmed with emotions and an unbelievable recognition of everything you are about.  You have the key to what I've been searching for all these years.    My way of life is described in page after page on your website.   My first sponsor told me years ago that codependancy should be treated with the same medical attention that an alcoholic should have.  She told me that codependancy is a destructive and life threatening disease.  She used to say to me - "______, what is the pay-off of your behavior?" and I would get so mad because I had no idea what she was asking me.  But I think I have an idea now.    Thank you for responding to my email.  Words cannot express the way I'm feeling today.  I know I'm supposed to be here.  Deepest gratitude."

"This is probably the worst I have ever felt in my life and I don't know what to do with the pain.  I sat here tonight and typed "heartache and recovery" into my search engine and your website came up so I started reading your thoughts and opinions on codependency. . . . . there were many things I read on your website that spoke to me, to my pain and to the wounded child I have always tried to quiet with promises of that "happily ever after" plan. . . . I'm glad your website was there and maybe it is not  as hopeless as it feels right now.   My name is _____ and I'm someone out here that is touched by your profound words and deeply grateful that I found comfort tonight, if only for a while."

"I have spent the last few hours reading the articles on your website and am amazed and grateful for what I have read."

"From Ireland Hi Robert, thanks for your inspirational and generous website. It is shining out at me now and I am identifying with the stages you describe. It validates my journey and reminds me that I am not alone but part of the world's family. The spiritual journey that I am privileged to be moving through, painful though it may be, is one in which I know that I am really living, experiencing and healing. Keep up the good work."

"Thanks again! Getting a thoughtful personal reply from you is valued, though it adds to the impression I have from your website that you must be a workaholic now! I have ordered book and tapes; apart from the fact that they may well help me, I see the cash as containing a message from me to you which says "please carry on with your work, as there are plenty more like me who haven't yet heard your ideas".  Robert, I see your contribution as the ability to synthesize the most useful, the most compassionate, ideas and perceptions that were already around into a coherent paradigm. From my own reading and knowledge I can see links with Buddhist thoughts, TA theory, Gary Zukav! child and adolescent psychology, abnormal psychology and etc."

"I feel I know you since I've listened to Codependence - the dance of wounded souls. I'm in UK and would like to buy the book ( a blind friend lent me his copy) . . . . . I think your book is wonderful. You express exactly how I think now after 11 years in two 12-step  programs and a spiritual search starting with In Tune With The Infinite, Course in Miracles, Conversations With God etc. The pain has been terrible but today I know it was the healing and now I'm privileged to work with others. Thank you for your book. It really resonated with me."

"So, when I finally accessed your site in hopes of finding something I had missed to help me release these stuck feelings, there they were, lacking only neon light to hit me any more forcefully. We cannot integrate Spiritual Truth in any way which helps us live an emotionally healthy life until we learn to heal these inner emotional wounds. I am paraphrasing your powerful words because I do not have the text in front of me. . . . I had to write and tell you that your writing has become more powerful. You compress a great deal into a single sentence now. It takes me a while to unpack these quantum packets. Opening your January 16 update and new chapter is like splitting the atom. Robert Burney, Spiritual Quantum Physicist!"

"I came across your website in desperation and I have never before felt the crushing realism that I can truly relate to the material that you have written.  So many times I have come across self-help information but there has always been something missing--our spirituality.  I so look forward to reading your book, "The Dance of the Wounded Soul" and then your new book when finished.  I just wanted to say thank you and I already feel inclined to make myself whole by the wisdom in your books.  I thank you so much for your honesty."

" just want to thank you and tell you that I appreciate so much all your time and effort that you have put into this website.  It's wonderful and I am getting so much out of it and so much to think about.  I bought your book on tape a couple of weeks ago and listen to all the time.  I can't get enough of your website and how much it means to me.  You are so right on about the way I am and the I feel.  I finally have a resource I go to for help. Thank you very much."

"thank you for providing this information online. i copy it , read it and have learned so much by all of it.  thank you for sharing your wisdom."

"I can't believe that some one has concern about my problems and guiding me like God and helping me to recover without any medication . I really appreciate your help and providing material to read useful articles . Most of the things I do know but sometimes I forget about realities of life when I become depressed.  I know no body has time to reply my e-mails when I share my problems . You did spend some time helping a depressed woman.  I will continue to write mails whenever needed but this much effort done by you is like a boat which saved me from drowning any more in the big sea.  Thanks again "

"Thanks very much for your website, which is very helpful to me right now as I begin to look at my family of origin.  Thanks very, very much.....your website is extremely helpful to me as I begin to address the question of how in the world did I end up in such a mess???"

"thank you for providing this information online. i copy it , read it and have learned so much by all of it.  thank you for sharing your wisdom. I have been reading various sources of information as I began recovery about 3 years ago. . . . . yours is the best I have came across and I have been sharing it with others.  YOU ARE WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"The true awakening of the realization of how deep my co-de is has been almost shocking. . . . When I pulled yours up to peruse the more I read the more I felt at home. You have spoken my beliefs.  There is more than one way to believe . . . from Jesus to watching a hawk soar.  Thank youÖ.  I am looking forward to reading your book."

"Bless you Burney I have been absorbing the material on you website for a year now.  And for the marvelous ministry you offer at such a low cost, i thought i might be an encouragement to you to hear that this healing has profoundly effected my life, and even the people who know me, and come into contact with me on a daily basis. My own brokeness of my ego and parenting my inner child has lead me to a wholeness i never dreamed possible."

" First of all, I have only read what is on the website, but have been much enlightened (I have even included and transcribed your writings in my personal library on research for this topic) and honestly commend, send my sincere and abundant appreciation, and acknowledge the legitimate gift you posses, and have shared with the rest of the willing world on this matter. It appears your  spiritual and intellectual tuning has elevated your understanding, and achieved unprecedented clarity on a matter too often too painful to even explore. I pay homage to your achievement, and offer my boundless respect and gratitude to the courage and insight it clearly mandated in your path, and empathize the pain and chaos the journey must have encompassed."

"The reading of your book comes therefore at a good time for me, a bit of an oasis in a desertÖserendipitous and well-written, it's helping an awful lot. . . . . . Your prescriptive tone in the book is welcome at this time. You managed to capture a tone that Kant called the field of  metaphysics -the ìworld of the possible" -which is really refreshing. You've inculcated the essence of telling your story and YOURS alone, but you've teased out what I've lovingly called ìmeta-cognitionî (good 24 cent word). . . . . I thought it was fantastic to read your words.  In short, for the first time in a while, in recovery, I have read something I believe to be the hallmark of what my AA sponsor called  the three R's-reinvention, rediscovery and redeployment. . . . . So in sum, a quick thank you is what I can offer at this time, and if you can look through some of the high minded pseudo intellectualism -brought on by nervousness, and manage to see that you've helped, then I've succeeded.  Thanks Sincerely,  A wounded soul now waltzing instead of moon-dancin."

"I came across your site while searching for the term "emotional incest" on Google. (This is an expression my therapist recently used to describe my upbringing...and his own as well.) My search was prompted by another miserable night of tears and anxiety, blaming myself for running away (again) from an intimate relationship with a loving partner because of the fear of not being perfect, of silence between us, etc., etc.  Thank you for your wise words. Intimate relationships have always been the catalyst for these cycles of despair and anxiety. . . . . Your pages provide hope that there is another way to be. . . . . And thanks  again for your inspiration. There is so much to absorb at your site, I'm sure I'll visit back often."

"I'm sure I'm not going to say anything you haven't heard... and that is probably less amazing than the fact that everything you wrote that I have read doesn't surprise me.  Instead it feels like "Finally! um.. yeah... that's what I have been thinking and it's all written out there already."  You have saved me a lot of work... now instead of focusing on what I'm trying to say, you already said it, and now I can practice *doing* it :) . . . . .I wanted to let you know that your words hit at *exactly* the time I needed them and triggered a rapid transformation in my life that is truly amazing.  I don't know whether to thank you or punch you for making feel so much shit in such a short time... but, I think I'll go with the thanking you for now ;)  It was the spark that triggered the epiphany after a *very* long time of working on myself (thinking I was working on myself)... the relief it inspired is inexpressible."

"Did I need to find your website today!  At a breakthrough in my  recovery, expressing boundaries, trying to learn how to communicate like  an adult, I needed just this information, said just this way.  I'm not  done reading yet--and surely not nearly done absorbing!--but I wanted to  stop and send my heartfelt appreciation to you."

(Posted: 1-1-2003)
"And, Robert, as a 47-year-old woman who has been  studying world religions and philosophies since the age of nine, as a codependent insight-junkie, none of these sacred moments would have been possible without first doing the work of inner-child healing. I have never found any teaching anywhere which reaches the core of my past suffering as yours has done. I have never found any teacher anywhere who communicates Spiritual Truth as clearly and transparently as you do. What you say stays with me in the most difficult of times. I can apply it to my own life and prove it for myself. The Source Herself becomes my Teacher. Once again, Robert, thank you for this extraordinary way of living."

"If you ever need anecdotal validation that this method works for someone other than yourself, for people who have only visited the web site and have yet to have the benefit of telephone counseling or even the books and tapes, please feel free to draw upon my experience as validation. I have only been applying this method for a few months. A year ago, after the experiences of the last few days, I might have been dead. Robert, you have given me a choice.. . . . . .I lay there drained from crying and remembering and crying some more. Then, I had an experience of this Horizontal and Vertical, Multidimensional Nature of Reality you have written about. I was at once the abused little girl, the recovering codependent adult comforting and holding her, and this Magnificent Spiritual Being. I didn't think it was possible, Robert, to access the Transcendent Vibrational Frequency of Joy at the selfsame moment of Deepest Grief, but I did. . . . . . Robert, this is so amazing! To have this Spiritual connection and to have another alternative to my negative programming. Side-by-side with the darkest days and nights exists this choice, this other possibility. Whatever the opportunities for growth, this Transcendent Vibrational Frequency of Joy. The pain at this level hurts so much, but the access to Joy opens with the emotional release techniques. I needed to know this so much. It can feel so bad, and I can still be okay. And this is possible with only the application of the material on your web site. Pretty powerful stuff, don't you think?"

"I wanted to let you know that I received your audio book and bumper stickers the day before Christmas, so it was a real nice gift.:) Also I listen to it today while I was at work.  I must say that I have to listen to it at least a dozen more times because it has SO MUCH to absorb.   However; the reason for my e-mail is to tell you that I enjoyed it IMMENSELY, and I know that I will get more and more out of it themore that I listen to it as I grow and heal.  Thank you so much for the personal note inside, it helps me to KNOW that how I am healing and what I am doing for myself is.... the direction that I AM SUPPOSED TO GO :)  Thank you again for the wonderful healing tapes, I recommend them HIGHLY.  Not only for those of us who have come to the co-dependence conclusion but for anyone in search of themselves, no matter how they were lost in the process."

From South Africa:
"Thank you so very much for your prompt replies to my emails. They have helped me so much each time I get a little stuck on my journey. I now realise that getting stuck is indeed very much part of the journey and I am beginning to understand that. I just want to say that to me it is absolutely phenomenal that somebody who I have never set eyes upon, half way across the planet is prepared to go to all this effort to help me without any expectation of outcome or reward.  Robert I believe that you have indeed been touched by God, and that by God touching you has touched me. What is so incredible is the timing, your book (the tapes actually, I listen to them a lot and pick up new things all the time) came into my life at the exact moment when I was ready to accept, any other time and I have no doubt that my ego would have rejected it.  This process is indeed stunning."

And another e-mail from the same peson a month later:
". . . . . . . . Then one day I listened to your tapes of The Dance of Wounded Souls and frankly I can only say that It blew my mind. No single experience of my life up to that point has had the effect that your tape has had on me. It was profound and life changing. I immediately started to do the work. I can say that I had no idea how painful this process would be. I was in a lot of pain so a little extra did not seem like such a bad idea, wow in my life in such a short period (it has been about 3 months) I experienced levels of emotional pain and grief that I thought were beyond my ability to handle. I thought it would never end.

Which brings me to the present.  Yesterday I was driving in my car and I became conscious of my feelings and just observed them. The feeling was one I cannot ever remember having before in my life, I could not recognize it. Then it hit my, like a ton of bricks, I WAS HAPPY for the first time in my life that I can remember I felt happy. I am 45 years old and could not remember ever having experiencing a moment of happiness.  I now realize that my journey has just begun, and I am so excited, and happy to be alive.

I know this is a long way round to just say thank you, but through what you have given me I am now starting to experience the joy of being alive this fascinating adventure. Thank you again."

"I was the one who had sent you the long e-mail re:  I know you are important and busy but please show me.... about 40 yr old single parent and codependency issues along with not knowing how to communicate with co-workers and people. Your articles on emotional honesty and responsibility make me cry because finally somebody is explaining the fear of intimacy issues that I have.  I've been to CODA, AA, Al Anon, ACoA, and 3 years of inner child counseling.  And my therapist said, "One day you will work on your intimacy issues."  I had no idea what she meant until 10 years later.  And could find noone who could take me past the beginner's course in recovery.  Thank you so much for your intelligence, wisdom, character, and loving heart that you put so much of yourself into helping people like me recover.  God bless you.....  :) "

"Dear Robert, Thank you for sharing your growth through your website.  I'm overwhelmed by your ability to share and teach these truths.  I've been struggling to understand many things -- my feelings, my spirituality, my inability to make good relationship choices.  My last relationship just ended and I've been really hurting (and, of course, beating myself up).  I feel as though I've been led and enlightened this afternoon.  I've been locked on to your words for four hours.  The only reason I need to stop is that my back aches from sitting in the same position.  Plus, I've learned so much I need to process all of this.  I can't wait to read your book and begin to experience the joy that I'm searching for -- from within!   Your words truly inspire me."

"Right on my fellow Spirit!  Somehow I found your site, Divine I'm sure.  I've just been aware of the vastness of the inner child issue for a short while, yet have experienced so much healing.  I've recently communicated my updated boundaries to my family, without blame, but without needing to protect them from unpleasant feelings.  They didn't take it very well.  No doubt there own abandonment came up for a visit.  They don't believe in the things that I do which has made me the black sheep for years.  Oh well. At this point, I've just entered a relationship that appears to be the first truly healthy one ever.  It's bringing up stuff, but this time, I can see my little girl and care for her myself.  No need to pour that all over my friend.  I don't know what's coming next, but it's feeling better than the depression that has hovered over my life for forty-one years.  I sense strongly that my depression has been the wounded self in despair.  I've decided to choose empowerment instead and have been getting better quickly.  Funny how you just can't force these things.  I look forward to discovering all of your well written work over the coming weeks.  I will share your site with all I meet.  You're correct about world peace.  With all of the wounded children controlling things it's no wonder we are struggling.  God bless you sir for your willingness to share with the rest of us."

"I just wanted you to know how grateful that I am  for the information that you share.  It is a blessing to be able to experience life in a new way.  I'm learning to love myself and not feel guilty about it."

"Hi Robert.  I found your website one day at the perfect time. Through that discovery I feel a renewed commitment to my never-ending recovery as a human being living my life. AND, through my connecting to you and my sharing it with my best friend, she is making a painful break from an unhealthy relationship.  I thank you for your energy and the courage and willingness to share with others.  Truly, though, I APPRECIATE YOUR WORK and celebrate its existence!"

"Dear Mr. Burney,  I received my books and audio tapes today.  When I received this email I had thought that it was just an automated email.  When I received my book today I noticed that you even signed the book.  I have been inspired by your web site, but now I am not only inspired, but impressed that you are so personal.  I can not thank you enough.  I have been reading the web site and have found so many things helpful to me.  I am looking forward to reading the book and listening to the tapes.  You have made a difference in my life and I thank you.  Healing and enjoying every day that much more because of you. Thank you."


(Posted: 11-10-2002)
"I just wanted to let you know that just by what content that was featured on your website, has made me make dramastic changes in my life.  I am a sophomore at _____ University and to be quite honest, I can't really remember them.  All this partying and drug use tore my mom and dad up.  My dad blamed it all on him because he is an alcoholic and has went through A.A.  I just wanted to let you know that you need to keep up the website for kids like me.  After reading it I have thought and thought and thought about change.  Well, it has been 3 months and I am living my life sober!  I just thought to write you and thank you so much for the changes a website could make."

"Your insight on being emotionally separate, yet Spiritually connected was the single most creative, original perspective I have ever received. This is a radically (down to the root) novel concept for me. You have cracked the cosmic egg!  Robert, you are a metaphysical Stephen Hawking. Thank you."

"After checking out your website I had to buy your book, so I did. I expected it to be a great book because of the different excerpts that I read on the site. Well it actually exceeded those high expectations that I had.
         Robert, I have searched and prayed and begged and bled and cried and have experienced horrible injustices in and outside of the home. I have read many books and have questioned everything and everyone on my desperate search for my Truth(the Truth) and healing. I found little to no answers and had been shamed by therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists(unintentionally).  Your book is simply the best most informative and validating piece of literature that I have ever read. It reeks of truth and love, and by cracky it makes sense! It is validating to me because it confirms what I had come to believe regarding the cosmic, or Truth, reality of everything. And even more importantly your book has validated my feelings which I have seemingly lost many years ago.
            What I'm saying in a nutshell is that I loved reading your book and will keep it close. Thank you. I am still living in dark dungeons of non-existence, but I feel a new confirmed hope. I am currently trying to work Coda, which I havent found too much success in, but I still will try. I would like to try phone counselling if you are still offering, but need to save up cash first. Thanks again and keep up what you are doing it is great."

"my heart sang as i read your site!  i know your pain & recovery, they are mine as well.  i look forward to reading your work & will joyfully pass on your wisdom, many blessings, dear robert, continue to light the way for our freedom from shame!"

"Well how amazing!!! I have read the book and I feel very different to the person I was before I read it.  You have touched many parts of my soul with your words and I felt the healing began as I was reading your book.  I connected with the child who wanted to die - I had a daily experience of this as an adult until recently. . . . I also realised I too was worthy to have a Higher Power and felt a presence as never before and I could accept that I was worthy to contact HP directly - I struggled with this in AA for sometime! Thank you!  MANY MANY THANKS FOR HAVING THE COURAGE TO WRITE THIS BOOK - YOU ARE RIGHT WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES AND THE ONES WHO WILL CHANGE THE FUTURE! GOD IS WORKING AMONGST US - TODAY I CAN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT FREELY!"

"Appreciation of life changing information - Thank you for the message in Codependancy: The Dance of Lost Souls. I personally experience a great empowering feeling when I read it, and it has opened lots of doors for me, in me."

"I wanted you to know.  I am so grateful for you and your website, your writings and teachings have been helping me everyday for 3 weeks now, since I first stumbled upon your site.  For so many years I have been trapped and victim of my own mind, thoughts and actions.  I am just beginning to understand my responsibility in all that has gone "wrong".  I feel excited and look forward to each day now, each moment really.  This new "renewing of my mind" and understanding God and the God that is in me has given me peace.  Just 3 weeks ago, 3  spirits of God have come into my life that is YOU, Iyanla Vanzant and the Unity Church. I wanted to thank you.  A spirit awakend"

"Wow, this is some of the most powerful stuff I've seen and it makes so much sense. . . .  - just wanted to let you know your site will help me immensely. How fortunate I am to be given the chance to heal and surrender to an All-loving higher power. What a relief to know it is not up to me to fix everyone and everything-this has been my first glimpse at serenity and for that I am truly grateful. You have given me new hope and understanding! Thanks"

"I am so thankful to have found your site as nearly every article I have read by you is like looking into the mirror of my own soul.  Thank you again.  I have a long road to travel in recovery and realize that it will be painful.  But, I have hope that the tears and pain will be turned into joy and peace and a love for myself that I have never known."

"In my search for inspirational sites, I found yours.  I have read alot of stuff off your web site, on a lot of different subjects, I can relate to so much of what you write about.  I just want to say Thank you.  Your site has been an inspiration to me. I am in my healing journey, and you have given me so many tools to help me along.  I am dealing with codependency issues, inner child work.  It is a long hard road, and it is so easy to become lost along the way.  Thank you for putting this site out here for people like me to find."

"I just wanted to say thank you for such a healing and safe place to go and discover my own self.  A  self I have run from for many years.  Not to mention the pain within. Thank you."

"I cannot wait to read the book as already your website has enabled me to make some changes to life as well as visiting a place in my past I never thought possible - So your book can only enhance my recovery more  (AA). Whilst I am awaiting to go into therapy you have given me so much hope and freedom regarding the child within - I have been able to acknowledge them and open a dialogue with them.  Everything on the site made so much sense to me and to know that the words you spoke touched my soul, which as given me so much strength and faith that I see light at the end of the tunnel  in this area - An area I thought I would never be able to ready to go to! I thank you and wait your book with much anticipation."

"I stumbled upon your site over a year ago, used some info that was pertinent to my life then and moved on.  A year later, as life became more complex and I began seeking help outside of my own soul searching, I discovered your words again-- only this time much louder.  Thank you for all that you share.  Though I have not had the personal attention focused enough to read all your pages, I have found great comfort in those that do resonate.  I find myself coming to your site time and time again, when my heart feels heavy, it is to your pages that I turn first.  Again, my heart and soul thank you for all that you give,"

"Thanks for sending the book and tapes. they arrived the other day, thanks also for personally signing them. I oringinally sent for your book because i liked your website very much and i thought that you spoke a great deal of truth and wisdom and stuff that i could personally relate to. I particularly liked the advice that you gave about finding a therapist who has actually healed there own wounds,before they attempt to help other people through their pain and darkness, i have recently had the experience of seeing a so-called therapist who was a perfect example of the kind of therapist you advise people to run away from!  I also related to the idea of Atlantis and the idea that you where involved in some of the mistakes that went on in those times and that you are trying to karmically make amends in this life. i feel that i too was in some way involved in Atantis and that i,m also dealing with the karma in this life time!  I,m glad to be on your mailing list and i think that what you have put out on your web site is just about the most intelligent information and advice that i have come across in years! keep up the good work and blessed be, as the Wiccans say."

"First, I want to thank you for your courage to open up and share your processing. I haven't even made it to your journal yet, but I already know that I have found just what I need right now.
    Second, I was laughing out loud yesterday as I read your "process of processing" writings. I was laughing from joy at knowing that there is at least one other person out there that thinks the way I do! This makes me happy, as I have been given a great deal of grief from others about this way of looking at things and life. Of course I used that to shame myself, to think that something is wrong with me!
    I will continue to read your writing with joy. I am just returning to the recovery process after a very, very long absence. I am feeling gratitude for being led to you at just the right time."

"I just ran across your site, and I wanted to tell you that it is totally awesome.... I wish that your site could be put in every woman's mailbox in the world. Again - great work.  Thank you!"

(Posted: 9-8-2002)

"Dear Robert:
     Just a note of gratitude. I had an experience of the Source recently which I feel  would not have been possible without doing the work of inner child healing and learning to be emotionally honest. I was doing my grief work. Honestly, Robert, I was just raging away at my concept of a Father-God, which was really just my dad after all. I moved through all of these stages until I found myself looking honestly at spiritual beliefs I had held since I was nine years old. I discovered that I didn't really understand what they meant. I began asking to understand what they really meant. I asked for Truth. Curiously, I reached a point when I not only didn't know what I meant when I invoked these concepts, but the words themselves didn't mean anything. They were just noises. And then, the concepts themselves just vanished. One moment, I was looking at my spiritual "tools" the way one looks at a wrench when one can't recall what the purpose of a wrench is. The next moment, the wrench vanished.
     Robert, it was like the space above my shoulders that I refer to as my head vanished. Thought had stopped. Yet, I was in this pure awareness. No angelic visitations. No luminous beings. None of those superconscious qualities like Peace or Joy or even Love. The room and all its furnishings were intact. Yet, I was aware of Pure Awareness.  Pure Consciousness. The most welcome encounter I ever had. I knew I was That. That was the Source. It was not like anything I had ever experienced, yet it was utterly familiar. I felt a Pure Attention. I felt listened to. Heard. Home.
     I didn't receive any answers to or justifications for the way things are. No promises of rewards for good behavior or of protection from all of the nasty things.  Robert, I know that I am That. I am a magnificent Spiritual being having a human experience. And I am already Home at some level.  I fell asleep for a couple of hours. I woke up to the same problems and challenges.  Except that I began to concentrate on the task at hand, in the moment. I practiced doing the best I could in the moment and releasing the outcome. I trusted my gut feelings more and discovered that my intuition was a trustworthy guide. I gave up forcing things to be the way I wanted them to be.
     Robert, I could not have this experience of the Source without having done the work of inner child healing. I could not have this without the material you provide on your web site. I know this is lengthy, but I wanted to share this gift. It is all really true!  Thank you."

"I am 24, mother of a one year old boy and I married an alcoholic.  My husband is an alcoholic in recovery (in a 30 day in patient center as I write this).  Since he has been gone I have had time to examine my codependency.  I read your book a few months ago and it has been trickling in to different areas and washing away a lot of crap.  Your spiritual views are very much like mine and your book was so refreshing after some of the stuff I have been reading about codependency.  Your articles and your book helped to "wake me up".  Funny how when I started tracing stuff back I said, "Oh THAT'S where that came from!" so many times.  I wanted to write to you and thank you for sharing your healing vision.  Your website is one of the greatest tool bins I have found in my recovery process.  I finally felt okay yesterday to tell my Mom where and when my codependency comes from.  There was no blame, there was no shame in telling her, just love and I feel like a great weight has been lifted off of my heart.  I feel a peace I have never felt before.  I know I still have a long way to go, but I am looking forward to the journey. . . .  thanks again for the light you helped to funnel into me."

"my heart sang as i read your site! i know your pain & recovery, they are mine as well. i look forward to reading your work & will joyfully pass on your wisdom, many blessings, dear robert, continue to light the way for our freedom from shame!"

"Yesterday me and my sister sat in my garden and read loud to each other from your book (we haven't done that since we were children) it was a new way to explore something so True to us. Thank you for sharing your truth. You should come to Sweden and share it with many people here!"

"I found your site about three weeks ago, and it has opened up so much for me.  I love your ideas, they have helped me and lifted so much weight off my shoulders that I have been carrying around all my life.  I still have a long long way to go, but for the first time I finally see a true beginning.  I ordered your book, read it in one gulp and started reading it for the second time, today.  It is a site that is truly needed."

"This is all incredible reading.  I started by bookmarking at Suite 101 all your articles about recovery and inner-child and co-dependency.  From there I'm reading at the Joy 2 Me and U.  The whole idea of extending some compassion to my self was a "lightbulb" moment in itself. I deal in absolutes..black & white, right and wrong and judge myself without mercy.  You've written in a way I can understand and identify with.  I am so tired of being the victim.  I've got that act down pat.  Wow...it all seems so overwhelming, but it's a matter of progress, not perfection and allowing myself to feel some compassion for myself is a mighty big first step.Thank you Robert for all your insight, work and wonderful articles."

""Robert, I want to let you know how much I appreciate you.  What I have read on your website has made real to me the inner journey that I have been on in the recovery of my inner child.  This spiritual journey has been reinforced by your writings and I have a better understanding of where I have been.   I put my full trust and faith in my Higher Power, who I choose to call God, and I have been shown the truth about myself.  That I am loving and that I am loveable.  And I know that I have been guided to your website because I needed to see it in writing... :o)  Peace, Love, Balance and Harmony to the beautiful child of God that you are...and to the beautiful child of God that I am..."

"Dear Robert, first let me express my gratitude, thank you.  Dance of the wounded souls was incredible helpful to me.  I just finished reading your update on codependency.  I agree that although therapist/counselors want to help, they know very little on how to go about it.  I for one was seeing a therapist for codependency, and I felt I had to keep up with her agenda, which made me feel as if I had failed."

This person wrote about my article Fathers in which I write about a little talked about way in which girls in shame based cultures are wounded by the reaction of their fathers to developing female bodies:  "In my case, I not only felt abandoned because I had femaleness, I also absorbed his judgment of my body as being "indecent." I have come only very recently to see that this dynamic was a sort of sexual betrayal, as by rejecting my sex he made me believe I deserved rejection. I write to let you know that I, at least, have begun to talk about it. Thanks for the great article."

(Posted: 7-3-2002)

"I have been on your web site and have been reading and copying so much of your work.  It speaks to my heart and soul like nothing else I have come across.  I have read and studied many authors on this healing journey of mine but you really relate to all of my issues like no one else.  I have read over 300 books in the past few years but you explain everything in simple but yet so enlightening truths.  It makes sense to me. I am spreading your words to others that I feel needs and will find comfort in your work. I wish you success in touching others that need healing and I thank you again for sharing to the world your message.  God bless you and you are making a difference to many. Oprah needs to read your work."

 "Since finding your website I find that I want to read everything you've ever written in any spare time that I can find. When I received your book in the mail I sat down to read it from cover to cover. I look forward to any additional books that are published in the future. I have so much to learn from you. What a great gift you have given to the world. Thank you, thank you, thank you!"

 "I was reading this site and it was as if you were addressing me personally.  This is my story.  My inner child is running my life.  I am so glad I found this web site.  Thank you so much.  You've given me much needed hope."

"Want to say how brilliant your site is, and how much appreciate your honesty and setting up the site. Lifted me from a dark place today to hoping, to seeing new and very important ways of tackling things. Especially like how clearly put things, details about how to process. Thanks."

"I can't thank you enough for the very profound spiritual healing your book on tape has provided to me.  I cannot express in words that which I feel as a result of having truly "heard" your message of self-love and spiritual awakening.  Your message has forever changed my path in this lifetime.  Thank you so much for sharing your perceptions and experiences through your book, and your website as well.  You are a guide and a healer, and I will be forever grateful for having connected and crossed paths with you and your work."

"I cannot praise you enough for sharing your insight with us. I have learned SO much from you. I have been freed from my hell. I tell everyone about you. Some are willing to listen, Others turn a deaf ear. (Their Loss) All I know is I have a new Bible. (LOL) I have read almost everything you have posted on your website, now I look forward to reading you book. Thank you for your wealth of knowledge..."

"I just finished reading every one of your articles on www.suite101.com and would like to thank you for making them available.  I had told the Universe I was ready for the next step of my lesson and  wouldn't you know I just put myself into a situation where I felt a lot of  hurt. Then, your articles came into my life within a day or two. I have been able to go from some very obsessive, victim thinking to learning to comfort the three year old in me thatís so scared of being alone. Thank you for what youíve learned and what youíve shared. Itís had a huge impact on my life and I feel hopeful of getting to the place where I feel like the strong, self-loving adult I know I can be AND enjoying myself along the way."

"I have printed out many things from your website, and read, and read, and read.  It truly is such a healing experience for me.  I have been a 12-stepper in Al-Anon for about 15 years on and off.  I was raised an alcoholic home (my father), and as an only child.  I had to wear many hats growing up to fit the parental needs of sons and daughters... the good child, the responsible child, fitting the bill of all sons and daughters to both of my parents.  I carried this pattern of "overfunctioning" into adulthood and at the same time tried to be the "good child" and not make waves for others, thereby constantly stuffing my emotions and not getting my own emotional needs met on any consistent or sustained basis.  I married twice, both times unwittingly to alcoholics... no surprise.

I have followed the works of John Bradshaw over the years, and read everything (I think) that he ever wrote, along with following his PBS series, and including attending his talk in Oakland on "Where Are You Father?".  Even so, I never quite found the switch to turn on my own light bulb until I happened upon your website and ordered your book and book on tape through Amazon.com.  It is tough being caught between being the super responsible (perfectionist) adult, and the little child who wants to be "good" and "pleasing" to and for everyone.  I created my own misery in that dysfunctional process.  :0)

I have been involved with a man for this past year that has been in AA clean and sober for 10 years.  I thought this was the ultimate at last for a growing and healthy love relationship.  I found that he has been emotionally unavailable, and that caused me tremendous pain.  I couldn't "fix" him, nor even "guide" him to a better place spiritually.  I gave him your book as a 10th Sobriety Anniversary gift last weekend.  He called me yesterday (after I emailed you), and thanked me profoundly for having opened his eyes to his own issues.  He has so far read (he says) about the first 36 pages, and something has "clicked" in him.  He says that your work takes up where "program" leaves off.  He, too, is inspired!  Where our relationship goes (or grows) from here does not matter.  You have opened windows of fresh air to yet another person, and opened doors to opportunity for relief from grief and pain for two people in the process.  I like what you say about being spiritual beings having a human experience... I for sure always thought I was human, attempting to find spirituality and meaning in life.  I enjoy this new (and realist) perspective.

I'm really looking forward to your next publication.  May all the gods, godesses, and angels bless you for sharing your human experiences and insights from the heart... guiding others along a healthier and happier path in this human experience.  Thanks so very very much."

(Posted: 4-14-2002)

"I have Robert's book and tapes and I have found them the MOST beneficial to me.  It is nice to know that there are others like me and there is hope for recovery.  I truly believe that I have made more progress on a personal level in the few weeks I have had Robert's book and tape than in the preceeding eight plus years when I first found out what codependency was.  THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU"

"Thank you for writing your book and recording your tapes.  I have not had them long, but they are such comfort to me.  I will not part with them.  I have told some friends about your book and tapes and they wanted to borrow mine, but I will not loan them out, partially because I am using them DAILY (I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO), and partly because I feel you need to reap some reward for the fine work you have done.  I was so relieved when your book and tapes arrived- I think it was the realization that SOMEONE understands.  The least I can do for you is spread the word and make some gift purchases."

"Just wanted to let you know that I very much enjoyed the tape, Dance of Wounded Souls that I ordered two weeks ago. This is by far the best Codependency book that I have ever read. I am an Adult Child and I also believe that I am a love addict. I have been working through issues mostly this past year and all the light bulbs have been coming on. I look forward to more books, reading the website now and the journal articles."

"I enjoy reading your web site, and more importantly, it is "hitting home" on some very important issues that I have been carrying with me through out my adult life, that has caused me unnecessary pain, and confusion. Your readings have helped tremendously and I look forward to reading and sharing your book. Thank you for sharing your wisdom."

"I stumbled upon your site and have spent countless time reading it...what you say is so true, and so difficult to learn and even admit. . . . . Reading what you have written brings clarity, enough so that I will look for a Coda group near me. . . . . I am afraid of sabotaging my relationship by being unaware, and I am in danger of doing that because I do feel so needy.  Understanding why I feel needy and how I act when I do has helped me to see more clearly and not just react to what I perceive as rejection.  So thanks for your site, I go back often to read more and it helps me be aware that no one person can be everything for me, and his love is not something that I can control."

"I grew up in a shaming metaphysical household - such a strange concept, but true!  I could never put my finger on it until tonight, reading your pages...I've had a good cry and I'm going to bed feeling lighter.  Thank you for this!"

"Was it perhaps chance or plan that I read your words--I'm not sure.  For two years I have been working on my past relationship history that was very toxic.  Your words touch a part of my soul and sing to the emptiness.  I am on a path of understanding that which I most feared.  I do feel love based however, it never included me.  To get to the light I guess it is necessary to feel the darkness.  Thank you for more food for thought--it seems your purpose.  God's blessings on your journey."

"I received your book and I haven't been able to put it down. It is terrific and helps me to see how to work on my inner child.  I am so glad I found you on the Net."

"I have been reading the The True Nature of Love - Twin Souls, Souls Mates, and Kindred Spirits page and found this as a message to my soul, my inner child.  You see for over a year now I had a relationship, which gradually ended like all the others in the past, I pull away in the beginning, go back, and become devastated, because they are wasting their time with me.  I was/am convinced she is a twin soul, a wounded soul that I have a special connection with.  I am trying to maintain a friendship with her talking about our wounds but it is a relationship where she cannot be there for me and is very distant (now I see that I have those qualities too).  Yesterday she informed me that she moved in with her boyfriend. And although it did hurt, I thought of your words of Karma, letting go for this lifetime, and this is all serving a divine purpose of love.  To love myself so I can love others.  You have made my days a little easier.  A deep hearted thank you"

"Dear Robert!   My name is ____. I am from Russia, from Siberia.  I am 34 and I am a psycologist.  I am very far from you and I am very happy that I have a chance to visit your site! I like it very much. Today I have only travelled over the pages but I felt a great interest to the ideas and feelings expressed on them!  I like your style!  I think you are a poet in your soul!  Thank you very much!  I feel respect and admiration!  I work with addicts and their relatives and have my own experience of codependence! I know it "by my skin".  I would  like to ask your permission to use the materials of your site in my work and life.  I wish you all the best!  God bless you!   From Russia with great respect!"

"Just a quick word of thanks for your work, which has helped me greatly. Having been in recovery for 10 years without having any significant breakthroughs, I came across your site by accident and found the deep breathing piece.  I then started practicing the technique. Breathing in a meditative state, quieting the mind. I was shocked and terrified when it started coming up.  (about 5 weeks now into this process). I could feel it all in my chestÖ.my throatÖmy legs. Then the rage, the tears, then rage againÖ.then tears.  I'm still grievingÖ.but now I can intuit that it is lessening Ö.and I am finally getting healed.   I wish I would have known this ten years agoÖ.but in retrospectÖ.I probably wasn't ready. All the prozac, the shrinks, the self help  booksÖyadda yadda yadda. It's in your body stupid. : )  Something as incredibly simple yet profound as breathing.   I bought your book and I was like yeahÖ.I'm not the only one with this worldview!!!  I had also recognized the half truths of Buddhism and the shame base of Christianity. Your book was a great affirmation."

"I have read a few articles of yours and i think they are brilliant, It is what I have been searching for as i feel as if im a tortured soul.  This has helped me already in my journey to self acceptance."

"Wow Robert what a wonderful site you have developed! . . . . . I was amazed! Thank you for having the courage to write your soul stories for others to share. Itís like you have bared your soul to world and I commend you."

(Posted: 3-12-2002)

"hello robert my name is _____, i was browsing through the websites and i thought to myself; i really am working on alot of abandonment and codependent issues so i want to see if i can find anything on these two issues... i have to tell u mr. burney that i did expect to come across anything let alone such a uplifting, truthful, powerful, heart grabbing website. i am so amazed with your website that i spent 4 hrs on it and i also sent e-mails to  four of my best friends whom also are working on the same issues, we are all in recovery from all kinds of addictions... i found myself in a trance with big fat tears rolling down my face, i once use to work on inner child issues, and found myself growing.. i have not been in touch with my inner child in at least three or four years.... i feel like i abandoned my inner child as i felt abandoned  myself, this website has opened my eyes to things i needed to look at.... i truly thank u from the bottom of my heart for the website... i also looked in to your prayer and meditation page, it is enlightening."

"I am a recovering alcoholic and I simply want to say 'Thank You'."

"I have been on your site for the past three hours and have found it to be incredibly relieving and insightful."

"I just wanted to let you know by far this is the BEST website for addictions that I have seen!  It is so up close & personal.  I am so glad that you were given a vision into the very heart of this problem that has grown so large over the years.  Thank you & keep up the good work."

"What a terrific site ! I am so pleased to find something of this calibre to refer to, in the way of refreshing truth to myself & especially to pass on.  Thanks for offering such a great service to humanity."

"What a brilliant site."

"i just wanted to let you know, i am a fifty year old woman who always knew there was something wrong with me but did not know what ? until i started reading your web-site on emotinal abuse. i finally know now that i'm not going crasy.  thank you very much"

"I really love your website, and have spent hours there reading..."

"Wonderful web page!  Most helpful to see acknowledgement of the seriousness of emotional abuse."

"In appreciation, I would like to thank you for this website and the valuable information that it contain.  I don't know how I accidentally got this website but I must tell you that I really needed to read the words of wisdom regarding Toxic Love. . . . . . So after reading this most helpful article I can see how I set myself up to experience this hurtful situation.  Again,I thank you for this website."

"Thank you so much for your wonderful website.  I have read it in its entirety over the past month or so and have gained so many insights! . . . . .I had heard a lot recently about healing the inner child through grief work, but never knew much about it until I read your website.  Thank you so much for the wonderful work and service you are performing for so many of us.  You have such a gift!   We are all very fortunate that you have been put into our lives as such a gifted teacher.  Your website should win an award for being so easy to get around in and you write with such clarity...so easy to follow.

I have told a lot of people about your wonderful website and telephone counseling. . . . . I don't think I have ever encountered a more prolific writer than you are."

(Posted: 12-3-2001)

"I just wanted to touch base with you to thank you for your book and your God sent, awesome, and helpful web site. When I received your book I read it in one day. I heard, understood and could relate to everything. I am now rereading it, because I know I will find something that I probably missed my first reading. . . . thank you again for all of your hard work and love that you give."

"My name is _____ and I am from Romania. I write you in the name of a small group of students living here. These days we have the chance to sail on the Internet, and, among all those wonderful things there, we have found a link to you.  And, after visiting your web-site, we were truely amazed by your vision over the human spirit."

"I love your websight!  I can stay on it for hours.  I stumbled onto one of your newsletters during one of my kind of hypomanic states and hooted. Your writing was going as fast as my thoughts and I knew you were a kindred spirit."

"I can't believe it.  I really can't. . . . Here I was, broken down to nothing, and I saw a flicker of light so tiny that despite my complete sorrow, I had to follow it.  Something told me that 'this was IT'...that this was the key...FINALLY! . . . Yes, it was your web site and the INCREDIBLE amount of information that you so GENEROUSLY have provided for those of us who were SHOCKED AND RELIEVED to find a name and a reason for our behavior. . . . I'm going to be successful BECAUSE I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU FOR 23 YEARS, ROBERT!  Somehow once you stumble (hmmm....did I really stumble?  I think not) upon the truth, your heart becomes warm again, and your journey is clear.  How can I say Thank You? . . . .I can't tell you how incredibly obvious my life is to me now.  I feel stripped down to the bare bones, and I'm in the process of rebuilding.  It's truly a humbling experience, and I'm so grateful to have been given this gift of insight.  Again, I can't thank you enough,  Robert, you've helped me to get back in touch with a very important person in my life...MYSELF!"

"Today, when I read some of your writing, it struck me that your perspective on philosophy, spirituality and psychology is really unique. I've read and listened to many spiritual people, but I've never found someone who combines love, acceptance and humour in such a profound manner."

(Posted: 10-3-2001)
"I have just discovered your website.  I would like you to know that for the first time in a very long time, I feel real hope.  Thank you so much for making such information available."

"I Cannot Find The Words To Express How Truly Amazing Your Web Site Is.  Robert I am shaking -- literally after spending the past several hours reading your words of wisdom. I have to say without a doubt that you have the most informative, epic and loving site I have ever laid my eyes on. I will be visiting your site in the future to continue learning from you."

"I'm ______, coming from Slovenija. I just want to tell that reading this pages helped me not only to mentaly understand my codependence, but also to feel it and accept it.  I would like to thank you for your very easy to understand (english is not my mother tone) explanations and definitions."

"I have read and reread your book, DANCE OF THE WOUNDED SOULS, and I am currently listening to it in my car on my way to work everyday.  My life has changed so much since I was advised to attend an ALANON meeting a little over a month ago.  In researching alcoholism on the internet I ran across your website and ordered your book.  I cannot begin to tell you how your words have soothed my soul.  I can literally breathe again because my "sinus-allergies" have all but disappeared.  When I realized that my sinus headaches were related to my stress, and I understood that I was not responsible for my husband's alcoholism or my son's fears and codependency, but rather for my own, I knew there was hope for me.  Thank you."

"Dear dear Robert,
   By some magic high power I have "fallen" on your site and I cant begging to tell you how wonderful you are!!! I feel so close to you because I know that without knowing me you understand me. For the last two days I am reading all you have written in your site (did not finish all yet) and finally found answers to so many questions I have about why my life turned out so terrible. . . . . Again, thank you for being you and for sharing your experience with suffering and bewildered people.  Thanks. Love with all my heart."

"Dear  Robert,
I start out writing to you not really knowing what to say.  Perhaps I want to say too much.  So I will say thank you and say I understand.  I understand everything you write, I might have to read it over four times, but I understand it.  You have been instrumental in my healing, and that healing is only accelerating. . . . . I was anxiously awaiting your writings on the September 11th tragedy and grateful you are so insightful and expressive.  I personally experienced (and still) deep grief over the incident.  I am native to NYC and it really hit home, however I have not lost anyone close to me Ö for which I am grateful.  Robert I cannot express how much of a pioneer you are.  Your insight and views are so on the mark to me and to others I share it with. . . . . Again Robert thank you!  I cherish your work and insight.  Some higher power is guiding you and therefore us.  I believe your words will make their way into many more people's lives."

(Posted: 8-12-2001)

"I would like to take this time to thank you for your wonderful website... Like many of us, am constantly looking to be spiritually fed. I've been on a wonderful spiritual journey and I had reached a point of feeling as though my spirit self was fragmented. I had a wealth of metaphysical information from various mediums (people, places, books, articles) and have had quite of few wonderful experiences to confirm that I am on track. However, I've been feeling like being is like puzzle piece... just floating, not really connecting. Yesterday I prayed for clarity, for all of this to come together .... Then I stumbled upon your website... meant to be???? Yes, I know so.

This is exactly what I've been searching for ... Yes, the light bulb has gone off ... the pieces of the puzzle have melodically fallen into place ... you are most definitely a Godsend, and for that I am grateful & I receive this blessing.  I've ordered your book, "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls" and I plan to order more to give as gifts. I thank you & God Bless."

(Posted: 6-21-2001)
"Hi Robert, my name is____. Your internet site suddenly appeared on my computer screen earlier this evening (or should I say morning - another sleepless night ! and the most valuable one I've had in a very long time). I began reading your story, my hungry soul could not sit long enough to finish one page and I found myself clicking onto the next article and the next and the next, windows opening, hundreds of them, skimming over sentences and paragraphs in awe, shock and total disbelief of what I was reading, yet devouring every word, gorging myself on the spiritual banquet I know I did not accidently stumble across. I went to this place where I haven't been for lifetimes. Tears burnt scars on my face...I closed my eyes...I went back... somewhere... and found that little girl curled up in a dark corner in some ancient canyon burried within me and I spoke with her and told her your words.......she listened.   Just weeks ago I came very close to putting that little girl in a box  with the woman she grew into...it puzzled me how I could murder them when they were already dead. It wasn't meant to be - I'm still here - reading your words. I will return again and again until I have read them all."

A message from Paris:
"Dear Robert, Today I have finished reading your book. It is a Truely brilliant piece of work. I have received the message(s) loud and clear. Thank you for passing them on to me. The Light is shining brightly."

(Posted: 5-23-2001)
"Dear Robert:
I have suffered for many years wondering WHY?  Why am I the way I am?  Why do I have such a hard time trying to converge my intellectual thoughts with my emotional feeling?. Why do my relationships not last? Why do I always seem to end up with the same types of persons every time? WHY, WHY, WHY.  I have, in the past, spent many hours with a counselor, but there never seemed to be a clear thought process, or a road that I felt that I could travel down that would make some light bulb go off in my head that I could say, "aha, I have the gestalt - I get it".Then through the internet one day - oh joy - there you were.  I don't quite know how I found you.  You were not what I was looking for.  But some Divine Intervention brought me to you and Codependency.

When I first started to read - I thought - "Hey,not me.  That Codependency  STUFF - My God, that's for alcoholics".   Boy, how arrogant and stupid was I?  I kept reading and suddenly it all started to come together for me.  I went out and I bought your book.  I believe I have read it at least seven or eight times, and each time I read it there always seems to be something different in the reading.  Parts which I don't recall seeing before and yet I know they were there.  I continue to read and hope that this new "insight" will continue.  I am a long way from healed.  It has taken me 50 years to get to this point where I am finally starting to "see". I am just starting on this journey of a lifetime.  But, I do believe that we are never too old to learn and to change.

My deepest and sincerest thank you for being there when I needed you so badly.  I hope that I can access your sight again and again and look forward to the future publication of your books.  Thank you again."

"I cannot express enough the benefits your book and tape set has done  for me. I am 35 years old and never understood myself until now.  I know I have a lot of work to do but at least I now have a starting point.

I play your tapes as I am going to sleep which made me think of a suggestion for you.If you could put your book on CD a person could listen to the entire book as he/she sleeps which could help interact with the subconcious.Just a thought, Thank You So much for everything  I look forward to all of your writings."

(Posted: 4-23-2001)
From Croatia:
"Dear mr. Robert, On the struck of luck, I get in contact with your marvelous and promising web pages with subjects that attracted me instantly /Co-dependence and how to heal inner child/  My researches over hundreds self help books.  I thank your for your generous work, and hope that working on your principals and experience could HELP ME IN fighting biggest fight, and that could be basics for "the beginning of beautiful friendship". There are many clouds in my nowadays situation, but I hope with your book, some of them will disappear."

"I just finished reading: "The Dance of Wounded Souls".  For me, it brought many sources (books, classes, seminars) into one concise place.  Though I originally purchased the book to better understand a friend who was abused as a child, your book enriched my understanding of myself and reinforced what I had learned previously.  In one small book, you've captured what its all about - things I've been struggling to explain to others when they are down on life.  Now, I don't have to, I can just recommend or give them a copy of your book."

"Dear Mr. Burney: I wanted to let you know that your tape "The Dance of Wounded Souls" is wonderful. I have listened to it twice already.  I think you did such a fantastic job.  You should be very proud of your work.  Your message is necessary and very important for others, and I am so glad you had the courage to come forth with it. God Bless you and thank you for having such good information available.   I am grateful."

(Posted: 3-7-2001)
"I would just like to say that this website has changed my life.  I thank God for you every day.  I was feeling very sad and empty inside one day, I was literally grasping for air.  I felt  so low like I was emotionally bankrupt.  I have these feelings every so often, but this was a bad case of it.  I was searching the net and found your website and you had just the right answers for me.  I have never had the answers for all of my life long questions on one website.  I have been searching for 20 years for the answers to my behaviors and I never linked them to my Alcoholic parents.  But your website answered all of my questions I am no longer on a quest, I know exactly what my problem is and where it came from, and that is a very good feeling.  I did not know what it felt like to be in the moment in years, probably since childhood.  I just ordered your book, The Dance of Wounded Souls.  I thank you so much, you really have no idea what you have done for me."

"I am addicted to your articles.  I make it a point to read one every day & sometimes just a paragraph or two. . . .  I am 70 yr old widow . . . .  It is not easy to work on a loving relationship with myself, but I am determined to work very hard on this throughout my 70s & as long as I live.  So I truly want to thank you & let you know how much you are helping me in a very short time.  I have already given out your website to quite a few people."

A testimonial from a mother:
"I can hardly describe the gratitude I have for discovering your web site when I did.  I was at my most desperate end with my daughter and was very close to panic.  I knew the methods I was using to try to help her wasn't having the slightest effect on her so I had to do something different.  I didn't have the money to seek professional advice so the only option I had left was to search the Internet for answers.   She had a break up with her boyfriend that devastated her and she was well on her way to letting the ordeal ruin her life.

After stumbling onto your material that appeared on a site called Suite101, the first thing I noticed was the ease in which I understood your message.   Your articles are so well written, you should be proud.  I had bought a book that was so difficult to understand I would find my mind wondering before I reached the end of the page, realizing I had not absorbed or made sense of one word of it.  So I knew full well it wasn't helping my daughter.  She read only "one" of your articles before she started to get excited.  After one day, I saw a difference in her and she has since steadily improved.  Of course, I don't expect instant results over such complex issues but this is the most encouragement I have had in regard to her situation in months.  It was like a burden was lifted off her soul that I wasn't able to even slightly make a dent in because I was doing all the wrong things, adding to the problem.  I immediately ordered your book Codependence: Dance of the Wounded Souls and plan on getting the Dancing in the Light book when it is available and any other information I can get my hands on."

And one from her daughter:
"Hello, My name is ______, I am 26 years old . . .  I really thought I was going crazy. Well, my mom was killing herself to find answer to what could be wrong with me. She knew it went deeper than my break up. So she began to do research and came across your information about Codependency. She had once thought that I may be Codependent but was never for sure. After reading your information she knew I was a Codependent. . . . She came into my room one day handed me your articles, I began to read them and I couldn't believe it, just after reading your articles I felt more free than I had in a long time. Every feeling you talked about I felt, I noticed that I acted out as a child and never knew it. Now I print an article off every day to read, and I am waiting for your book to get to my home. I have made myself aware of the inner child and fight to take the power away from her, it is a struggle but each day it gets a little better. I know I have a long way to go, but just in the past 4-5 days my change has been incredible. I can smile, I enjoy things now, I precieve things so differently, but most of all I am stopping the blame I used to put on myself."

(Posted 9-30-00)
"I want to thank you for your explanations for the healing techniques of the child.  I have gone through most of the sites do with the inner child healing and all of them though were sincere to teach but at a price agree they are also justified so.  Your site was the only one which gave so much and because of that though I feel I have gotten most of the techniques to communicate with my inner child and which has  changed my feelings at this point of my life, I decided to order your book through a friend who is traveling abroad. Here in the middle east (Abu dhabi, united Arab emirates,next to Kuwait)we rarely get these kind of books.  I have been more attuned to your techniques because of the spiritual link which you bring to the all aspect of healing the inner child.Most other sites they go on to slice the different levels with logic with no intervention of spirituality..which I personally feel gets one in myriad levels of mind traps. Again Thank you for your site..you have given so much with no thought of gain and I believe this will pay in your life. Peace to you and our parallel roads to the Truth."

(Posted 9-9-00)
"I just stumbled upon this website while beating myself up and desperately searching for reasons why I do the things I do.  I now feel overwhelming hope and joy, as my eyes fill with tears, while I realize I am not alone, and there are answers."

Posted 8-14-00
"My name is ______ and I am 19 years old. I was considered to have social anxiety disorder and am currently taking paxil. I thought that then would solve all of my problems. Although it did cure a few I still felt very deppressed. It wasn't until I discovered your website that things really started to change for me. Up until recently I had always ignored or hated my inner child and beleived that a special girl in my life would be the only way to make myself happy. But after reading what you have to say about codependency and about loving my inner child things are looking better. I now realize, despite what society has taught me, that my needs come before anyone elses. I believe what you have to say about society being one of the main problems with codepency is very important. To say that it is our culture wich is the problem is so true! In my opinion what you are saying is one of the most important messages in this civilization.

Thank you so much for your web page."

This Testimonial Posted 7-9-00

"dear robert -
i am four years into my healing and recovery and it has been a wonderfully frustrating process.  a month ago i had a dream i was walking in a park.  john lennon was sitting on a bench.  i sat down next to him and asked him how it was going.  i don't remember any of the conversation until the end when he got up, put both of his hands on my shoulders and said to me, "you're going to be ok."  the next day i came across your website and you mentioned john lennon by name on one of your pages.  of course i spent most of the day reading and printing the pages of the website.  i ordered your book from amazon.com and have finished it.  thank you sooooo much !  after four years everything now makes sense !  and i tell you, it feels pretty damn good!"

These Testimonials Posted 5-13-00

"I can't believe I happened on you're site. I really thought that I was at the end of my life. I had lost all hope and then I stumbled on this site. I have been trying my whole life to get happy with myself. It has not worked but you have given me hope. I am almost 50 years old, have recently lost my youngest son to suicide and this incident has literally destroyed me. Yes I have always been a troubled soul but I have really tryed to overcome. My home library is full of self help books which have not really helped much, but I always blame myself for not trying harder.  Lots of therapy but to no avail. I found so much comfort in you're site and so many of you're words have my name all over them I would have thought you could read my mind. As I am writing you now tears are flowing from my face. You have given me a glimmer of hope and for this I am ever grateful. Thank you so much."

"Thank you so much for the incredible insights you've shared on your website. I'm just now returning to dealing with my childhood issues after a 5 year period of thinking I was "done" with that (yeah, rightówe're never done, are we?). It's so encouraging to know that it IS POSSIBLE to be happy and joyous, to be able to contain (if not totally exorcise) the demons that invaded our hearts and souls as children, and to FORBID THEM TO RUIN our adult lives. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I'm currently in a relationship (for almost 6 months now) with a man who has a lot of issues of his own; he tends to exhibit more counterdependent behavior, while I've been showing more codependent ones in this relationshipóin my last one, I did just the reverse. I don't know if he's ready to deal with those issues or not, but I plan to share with him the knowledge and tools that I've gained from you and others to show him that our relationship CAN be positive and healthy if we each do our own work. While I really hope he is ready and that we can pursue our individual recoveries while sharing a relationship, I'm prepared to let him go if he is not and/or if he chooses to react to me in a way that isn't healthy for me. (To quote your "Adventure" articleó "Very big deal for me to not sacrifice myself in the now for the potential of the future - doesn't work to hang on to the dream when reality is not working.") Your example has given me the courage to do thisóand the wisdom to see that without recovery, my lonely, empty, self-hating feelings will only continue to destroy me.

I really didn't plan to write a novel here . . . I just wanted to say thank you and ask to be added to your e-mailing list."

These Testimonials Posted 3-23-00

"I am 40 years old, "successful" professional, married, with 3 beautiful children.  I am watching my marriage of 15 years fall apart. I don't have any "outward" signs of trouble - no alcohol or drug use, no violence - financially sound, etc... but I'm not contented and I've been an awful husband - resenting her strength and willfullness, desiring to make her want my wants and like my likes.   A friend steered to Pia Mellody's writings, and I stumbled upon your articles this evening on the web.

I feel a tremendous sense of relief and hope.  I don't know where to start, but I know I have to recover, or I'll never have peace. And my spouse is a wonderful person who truly deserves a happy life (as we all do!).  I regret what I've been to her.

I thank you for your insight and wisdom and as I begin my journey.  I'll pick up your book tomorrow.  Tonight I'll read some of your posted articles."

"A while ago, my dyslexic, intuitive friend told me about 'inner child healing' after I confided to him about my seven year old chronic physical disease.  Lately, I've sought the help of an herbal therapist for my physical symptoms, but to no avail.  I agreed with my therapist that I had deeply rooted emotional baggage to unload, being the victim of parental abandonment.  The hurt was so strong that I buried it and denied it for 25 years, only to have it mentally and physically poison me.

Spurred on by my friend's advice, I went hunting around the web looking for this inner child stuff and found your site.  I've read most of it now and thought it was so good that I bought and read 'Dance of the Wounded Souls'.  With the aid of my therapist, I've been connecting more and more with my emotional self lately, but made no significant progress until I came across your thoughts...they made the difference for me.  Your words are closer to the truth for me than any I've ever come across.

In just a short while since I first saw your pages, I've started my healing.  I've been meditating, grieving, talking with caring fiends, and unloading lots buried childhood emotional pain.  I've dumped most of those mental and physical poisons and I'm so happy to be feeling great.  Your ideas have resonated very strongly with me.  Your work is beautiful!  Looking back over the last year, I see how my life events have brought me to this point; it's all been planned.  I understand now...I'm cosmically reconnected.

I'm tuned into my spirit.  My life will be all the better for it forevermore.

Robert, thank you so very much..."

These Testimonials came in over Valentine's weekend 2000:

"I want to let you know I believe your web site is phenomenal!  I have been into "personal growth"  for over ten years now and it's always a work in progress (to coin one of your phrases).  The information and the way you present it is the best I've ever seen.  The only thing that has come close to it in my mind is "The Road Less Traveled" by (Scott M. Peck)  I recently bought your book "Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls" along with the audio tapes and have just gotten started on it.  I'll be reading and re-reading not only the book but all the great stuff on your web site."

"Thank you so much for sharing yourself and all you have discovered on your web site.  It has been a life saver to me.  I am so grateful to finally know that I am not alone, that there is nothing wrong with me (getting there anyway). I have been in recovering (AA) for almost three years and always felt that I was missing something.  In December I had a panic attack, and finally hit my emotional bottom. I did not go back to alcohol to solve my "problem", but began trying to find out where my anxieties were coming from.  . . . the most help I've had in my quest for answers is on your web site! .  . . Thank you so much!  You are helping so many people, myself included, in finding God."

"I just wanted to drop you a quick note to say thank-you.  I am a substance abuse counselor at a correctional facility in Florida and I try to be creative.  Your web site has provided me with a great deal of material to pass on to the clients I work with.  . . .  I also enjoy reading your writings for my own benefit.  The environment I work in can be depressing at times and as a counselor I have to watch out for the codependency.  Have a Happy Valentines Day and thanks again."

"i'm _____ boyfriend. i want to thank you.  I just got out of a 28 day chemical dependency unit.What i would like to  tell you is that when ____ came to visit me she brought copies of some of the articles you've written. They were such a help to me and some of the other guys i shared them with. I was not surprised when they would read your article on codependency and say this is my problem. Well I would just like to thank you I'm reading your book right now and enjoying it very much.Your articles ____ brought to me helped me understand the 12 steps more than anything the counselors could have told me.Since ____ and i have started recovery our relationship has began to blossom into what i always knew it could be. Also i have read quite a few books an spirituality and came to the conclusion that it was either bull or something that would take years of meditating to achieve, so I had given up on it. Your writings has renewed my interest and I feel more spiritual right now than i ever would have imagined. Well I could go on forever about this. Thank you. You have made a real difference in my life, recovery is now possible and I'm finally beginning to enjoy life."

"I cried .... a lot. Then I found your site. I know God sent me to it. I read till one in the morning and started to feel better and like there was hope for me. . .  I instantly got up and got on the computer and went to your site and started to read. And now I am feeling more at peace and hopeful and I know in my heart I can heal and it will be ok. . . . I wanted to share this with you and thank you and tell you what a wonderful person you are and how much I am grateful to have found you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart."

These testimonials are some of the ones received in December 99 and January 2000.

"Holy smokes!  I just read the Old Souls and Karma - Karmic settlement in the New Age page of your web site...and was completely blown away!  In one page, you managed to touch on every single thing that I'm currently interested in/working on!  I've bookmarked it for future perusal; I'm not going to be able to absorb this in one sitting.  Then, once I've absorbed this page, I might be ready to tackle the book...What a terrific web site!  I'm so glad I was led to it..."


"Meanwhile I will still be absorbing info from your website.  My former therapist is studying the website and is learning from it.  She said the material is excellent.  It is easy to tell immediately if any material contains useful work by determining if the content conveys a message.  One versed at all in Codependence can tell right away yours in rich in message.  As I stated before, this is best I have seen in my lifetime.  You are truly blessed by the Creator with great talent in this area.  Keep up the great work."

"What i have just read, was fantastic! I have alot of work behind me and in front of me another lifetime! This site is truely inspirational and uplifting to a person in the midst of a spiritual awaking and the rebirth of a child lost many years ago. I would just like to give you a standing ovation on your site! I will be looking for more of your teachings and inspiration from now on! Thank you!"

"Hi Robert, have listened to the tapes and have really enjoyed them!  It has struck such a cord for me, I am feeling more at peace than I have in a long time, like I have found a big missing piece of the puzzle and the events in my life are making so much more sense.  It really has been quite profound."


"i read your online stuff tonight and you do not know how much you have helped me.. my life is in utter chaos... i felt like you were describing me to the exact breathe of me... thank you so much....i will be reading it over and over again"

"Your website is a wealth of information and wisdom"

"I happened to come upon a copy of DANCE OF WOUNDED SOULS when I borrowed a friends' car. I am in the process of reading it now & I must say that I am finding the book very helpful & hopeful.  Now, what should I happen upon this morning? Your web site!"

These testimonials are some of the ones received in October and November 99.

"In my forty years of searching for answers, (age now 55) I have not seen anything even close to your work in it's excellence."

"Hi, Robert.  I love you with all my heart. When I found your book, I found myself. I felt like I knew all that information but did not know how to balance and express it. Thank you very much. You open our eyes.   Once again, thank You very much and God bless you and your work."

"Thank you again and again... listening to your audio tapes brought the whole codependence issue into perpective for me.  This was the first time in my 42 years that I completely understood why I spent my whole life feeling unhappy.  You're the best and so is your book and website.  I have purchased many copies and give them as gifts to friends and relatives.  Your book is truly a gift"

"Hello Robert.  I just came across the article on your friend Robert. I feel it's no coincidence to find your article because I am in so much pain right now -I have been for many months-actually years.  Reading this article has hit me so hard and so deeply- I am sobbing while reading it because I never until right this moment heard anyone describe the pain and anguish of a life marred by so  many terrible emotional experiences described this way- and it makes more sense than anything I've heard.  It describes my life, my family, me." (Referring to article Death of an Alcoholic on Alcoholism and Codependence page)

"Keep up the great work! You are making a difference in many peoples lives. I don't know if you hear it enough. I know your work is long and hard and I just want to tell you how much it means and I thank you and will always keep you in my prayers."

"I absolutely love your webpage and everything you have to say."

"I just read your article on dysfunctional families, and suddenly I don't feel so weird. . . Until I read your page I was beginning to feel as though I must be the only person alive who is relationship phobic. I know I am still a long, long way from recovery, but I feel as though reading that page was a start, because suddenly I feel as though there is a reason for my problems, and a reason is a good start!  Anyway, I really just wanted to thank you very much."

"Thank you for your wisdom and words..I have been reading your site, and I have to tell you, the words you wrote hit home, for the first time it feels like someone really understands what I am feeling and going through, the one that really stands out for me is when you stated that you felt empty and alone and everyday you felt like dying!!!!!!   ok thats me... I will continue to read you site and I hope to someday meet  you.. Thank you Robert for your words and wisdom."

"I feel honored to receive your e-mail...it's like hearing from a celebrity.  I also greatly appreciate the time you take out of your busy schedule to write to me.  It is very thoughtful and in some strange way, I feel like the people who read your web page truly matter to you.  Your site really is making a difference...even if it slowly.  Today, when I heard myself talking negatively within my head, I was able to catch myself. I reminded myself that I am "perfectly where I am for the moment."  (Forgive my loose translation of your thoughts.)  Essentially, I was able to understand that I am where I need to be.  I even sought spiritual direction today, and visited a place that I find very peaceful and meditative."

"You are very gifted in the work you are expressing on Codependence and book The Dance of Wounded Souls.   Your writing is powerful and speaks to my heart and soul.  Blessings to you on your continuing journey and thank you for sharing it with us."

 The first testimonial was received in late August.  The second paragraph is the persons response after having read Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.
"I am a 52 year old psychotherapist and have struggled with codependency all my life.  Up until tonight I have been disappointed in the literature and treatment of codependency.  Your work is brilliant!  I will continue to follow your work and will begin an in-depth study for both my personal and professional life.  I can't find words to express my appreciation with the depth I am feeling."

"Why isn't this book on the bestseller list?  I think it certainly will be someday.  I still use the word brilliant to describe your work.  You have incorporated many concepts of Truth into one beautiful, soul touching, and integrated piece of genius.  I started reading deep stuff at age 12.  I couldn't guess the number of books I have read but in some I felt that vibrational response that is truth in parts.  I incorporated these gold pieces into my fragmented belief system.  When reading and listening to your work, the vibrational response did not stop but continued throughout the experience. I felt like home!  The gift of intuiting Truth and clothing it in words that are comprehensible to others is a rare gift.  And to take it even further, I feel you have communicated that Truth through your humanness which is extremely rare.  I could go on and on but I think you can tell by now that I liked the book."

These testimonials were received in July 1999.

"I just wanted to tell you that I just found your website and it is an answer to a prayer."

"I love what you are teaching and I just ordered your book and tape set.  I have been reading the articles that you have on your website and I'm VERYexcited to get the book and tapes.  I feel that this is what I've been wrestling with for a very long time and never realized what it was because it was so engrained."

"There are not enough thanks to you for creating this website and doing the work you are doing.  I feel it is going to create lots and lots of healing for many people."

"I really like your site and have sent it to many of my friends.  Thanks for the healing touch."

"My name is  _______ and I am 18 years of age. I have a friend who is a born again christian (I myself am Catholic) and he always threatens that I will go to Hell one day if I don"t fully accept the Bible as it is. The problem isn"t that I don't accept the Bible, the problem is that I take the Bible, read it and analyse little parts in it. He calls me Blasphamise because I don't take the Bible literally. How do I know that the writers were not speaking metaphorically and that the point isn't for us to just accept everything as it is, but for us to look further into it to try and understand Jesus more? That is where you come in. You have helped me feel that I am not alone and that God may just understand what I am doing and that I am in no way trying to put his word down. I believe what the Bible has taught.... I always have, but there are just some things that I cannot agree with in this day and age. I mean who is to say that God doesn't grow up in his own scale as we grow I mean we were supposedly created in his image aren't we?. There is even proof in the Bible of this. In the Old Testament God says "An eye for an eye" and yet in the New Testament we are told to "Turn the other cheek". It is little things like that where I believe there is a deeper purpose for us and your quote in your book sums up EXACTLY how I feel:

"We are not sinful, shameful creatures who have to somehow earn Spirituality. We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience."

Thank you Robert for making feel like a Beautiful person. Reading your Web site really put a smile in my heart."

"Here in the middle of the night I find myself reading your letters and columns and finding so many helpful insights into many issues I wrestle with. I particularly liked your advice to the woman whose husband was adulterous."

"I enjoyed reading your page titled "Feeling the Feelings."  I am going through a huge grief process now about my childhood (both parents being alcoholics) and it was so reassuring.  Your page gave me the validation I needed.  You are so right about the breathing aspect of grief.  All of my emotions have been surfacing for a few weeks, and ever since last Saturday, I have been short of breath.  I honestly could not catch my breath for an entire week.  I met with a Therapist today, released this negative energy, and my respitory system is functioning again.  Amazing!"

"Thank you again for your willingness to share with others and for providing this site for all of us to enjoy."

"I just read your website, and think it is wonderful! You are giving a great service..."

"Wow! If I may coin a praise. Just reviewing your web site was inspirational."

"It was the answer to a prayer for me. Thank you. It's an excellent site."

 These testimonials were received between 3-8-99 and 3-15-99.

"I just love your writing. It has so inspired me to take a serious look at this twisted idea of life and make it a fun, enjoyable, guilt-free journey."

"Awesome Discovery - I cannot say how impressed I am with your web sites so far. . . I serve on both a Christian and secular 12 step board.  I strongly believe in what you are saying and what I have read so far.  This work has saved my life and brought me into a world of love and grace that I truly didn't think existed.  I thought it was all religion rhetoric.  Thank you Thank you Thank you."

"Thank you for your web-site.  It is an answer to my prayers."

"You offer such comfort to the wounds of anyone with this disease or of an aching soul. . . Thank you again for sending out such loving healing"

"I received your book last Thursday.  You have really captured and expressed the essence of the wounded inner child.  You have identified so many things that I have thought about for a very long time.  Your book gives me hope.  I am reading through it so quickly right now, because I want to  go back to the beginning and a read it again and work with it.  I am beginning to feel excited that there is a life out there.  What is the saying ""when you are ready, the teacher will come". Thank you for this."

Cindy from Nova Scotia, Canada was one of the first people to discover this web site and started correspondence a year ago.   This is part of an e-mail received from her on March 29, 1999.

Subject:   Love Heals Terminal Illness.....

Dear Robert;

Just dropping you a line to say"I'm Normal" -I'm NORMAL- Normal  in the sense that my levels of Hepitis C are normal.  I am done with the disease that was destroying my precious liver.  The Great Spirit helped me to remember who I was and when remembered-I knew I had the gifts to heal myself.  To remember I was LOVE and that LOVE heals all. . . .

Robert, I cannot express what I truly feel-there are no words!  Reflecting back, You were there in the beginning,You stayed with me when there was no other, You saw me through to the awaking, You gave me the courage to fly on my own, You encouraged me to follow my own path (even though I wanted to get on yours) to remember who I was... Words will never be able to express my gratefulness-You are One Hell Of  A Man. . . . Thank you for coming into my life and waking me up to the Love of You, Me, My HigherSelf and THE GREAT SPIRIT.

Some other Testimonials:

"I am so thankful to have stumbled upon your web page...those words offered hope, inspiration and validation. thank you."

"Thank you for creating such a wonderful and empowering site!  That was such a gift of love!  I am so grateful you had the skills and the inclination to do so.  I'll be hanging out there a lot, looks like!"

"I wanted to thk. you for this absolutely beautiful information, so insightful, so honesty, & packed w/so much I am grateful."

"I'm seven years into "sober" recovery (AA) and seven years into therapy regarding "outer-dependence" issues (I love the use of the words "outer"-dependence and even led a meeting last Monday night with your phraseology on the "ism's" associated with addiction/recovery).  Your web page "Joy to you and Me" has been a God-send for me over the past three months."

"As I read on, I noticed myself saying out loud, "Yes, yes, yup, exactly", etc.  I thought, finally, this guy [the author] is right on!  It was your article on "Old Souls & Karma."  I have never come across anyone who so succinctly said exactly what I have been formulating in my own mind these past years, culminating the things I have said myself."

 "I love the fact that you are able to clearly bridge and tie in Christian teachings and (so-called) New Age philosophies in a clear and concise way for so many to hear at the same time."

"I am totally amazed at what I have read tonite.  I can find myself and my relationship in everything here.   Please put me on your mailing list.  I am very interested in hearing more and am going out to buy your book tomorrow.  What I have read tonite has already begun my healing."

"Absolutely phenomenal book!"

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