Quotations in maroon are from
The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney (Copyright 1995). Quotations
from columns & articles (Copyright 1996, 1997, 1998) written by Mr.
Burney are noted and in blue text. Blue text material that is not in quotes
is from Robert's upcoming book Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light
(Copyright 1998) unless otherwise noted. There
are several authors quoted in excerpts from The Dance of Wounded Souls,
those are noted with copyright acknowledgment at the end of the applicable
This is an excerpt from Codependence:
The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney.
"Not only were we taught to be victims of people,
places, and things, we were taught to be victims of ourselves, of our own
humanity. We were taught to take our ego-strength, our self-definition
from external manifestations of our being.
Our bodies are not who we are - they are a part
of our being in this lifetime - but they are not who we Truly are.
Looks deteriorate, talent dissipates, intelligence
erodes. If we define ourselves by these external manifestations, then we
will be victimized by the power we give them. We will hate ourself for
being human and aging.
Looks, talent, intelligence - external manifestations
of our being are gifts to be celebrated. They are temporary gifts. They
are not our total being. They do not define us or dictate if we have worth.
We were taught to do it backwards. To take our
self-definition and self-worth from temporary illusions outside of, or
external to our beings. It does not work. It is dysfunctional.
As was stated earlier, Codependence could more
accurately be called outer or external dependence. Outside influences (people,
places, and things; money, property, and prestige) or external manifestations
(looks, talent, intelligence) can not fill the hole within. They can distract
us and make us feel better temporarily but they cannot address the core
issue - they cannot fulfill us Spiritually. They can give us ego-strength
but they cannot give us self-worth.
True self-worth does not come from temporary conditions.
True self-worth comes from accessing the eternal Truth within, from remembering
the state of Grace that is our True condition.
No one outside of you can define for you what
your Truth is.
Nothing outside of you can bring you True fulfillment.
You can only be fully filled by accessing the transcendent Truth that already
This Age of Healing and Joy is a time for each
individual to access the Truth within. It is not a time for gurus or cults
or channeled entities, or anyone else, to tell you who you are.
Outside agencies - other people, channeled entities,
this book - can only remind you of what you already know on some level.
Accessing your own Truth is remembering.
It is following your own path.
It is finding your bliss.
Codependence does not work. It is dysfunctional.
It is backwards.
IN - dependence is the answer.
Looking outside of ourselves for self-definition
and self-worth means that we have to judge people in order to feel good
about ourselves. There is no other way to do it when you look outside.
We were taught to have ego-strength through judgment
- better than, prettier than, smarter than, richer than, stronger than,
In a Codependent society everyone has to have
someone to look down on in order to feel positive about him/herself. This
is the root of all bigotry, racism, sexism, and prejudice in the world.
True self-worth does not come from looking down
on anyone or anything. True self-worth comes from awakening to our connection
to everyone and everything.
The Truth is that we are like snowflakes: Each
individual is unique and different and special and we are all made from
the same thing. We are all cut from the same cloth. We are all part of
the Eternal ONENESS that is the Great Spirit.
When we start looking within and celebrating the
Truth of who we Truly are, then we can celebrate our unique differences
instead of judging them out of fear."
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