"When I first came into contact with the word "Codependent" over a decade ago, I did not think that the word had anything to do with me personally. At that time I heard the word used only in reference to someone who was involved with an Alcoholic - and since I was a Recovering Alcoholic, I obviously could not be Codependent.

I paid only slightly more attention to the Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome, not because it applied to me personally - I was not from an Alcoholic family - but because many people whom I knew obviously fit the symptoms of that syndrome. It never occurred to me to wonder if the Adult Child Syndrome and Codependence were related."

*

"I could see a pattern emerging in the expansion of the terms "Codependent" and "Adult Child." I realized that these terms were describing the same phenomenon."


Welcome to a page of Joy to You and Me

the Web Site of Robert Burney and Joy to You and Me Enterprises.

Robert Burney is a codependency therapist, Spiritual teacher, and the author of the Joyously inspirational book

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.

This page is the Authors Foreword to Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.

This is an excerpt from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney. 


AUTHOR'S FOREWORD

When I first came into contact with the word "Codependent" over a decade ago, I did not think that the word had anything to do with me personally. At that time I heard the word used only in reference to someone who was involved with an Alcoholic - and since I was a Recovering Alcoholic, I obviously could not be Codependent.

I paid only slightly more attention to the Adult Children of Alcoholics Syndrome, not because it applied to me personally - I was not from an Alcoholic family - but because many people whom I knew obviously fit the symptoms of that syndrome. It never occurred to me to wonder if the Adult Child Syndrome and Codependence were related.

As my Recovery from Alcoholism progressed, however, I began to realize that just being clean and sober was not enough. I started to look for some other answers. By that time the conception of the Adult Child Syndrome had expanded beyond just pertaining to Alcoholic families. I started to realize that, although my family of origin had not been Alcoholic, it had indeed been dysfunctional.

I had gone to work in the Alcoholism Recovery field by this time and was confronted daily with the symptoms of Codependence and Adult Child Syndrome. I recognized that the definition of Codependence was also expanding. As I continued my personal Recovery, and continued to be involved in helping others with their Recovery, I was constantly looking for new information. In reading the latest books and attending workshops, I could see a pattern emerging in the expansion of the terms "Codependent" and "Adult Child." I realized that these terms were describing the same phenomenon.

I was troubled, however, by the fact that every book I read, and every expert with whom I came into contact defined "Codependence" differently. I began to try to discover, for my own personal benefit, one all-encompassing definition.

This search led me to examine the phenomenon in an increasingly larger context. I began to look at the dysfunctional nature of society, and then expanded farther into looking at other societies. And finally to the human condition itself. The result of that examination is this book: Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls, A Cosmic Perspective on Codependence and the Human Condition.

This book is based upon a talk that I have been giving for the last few years. I have edited and reorganized, expanded, added, and clarified information in adapting the talk to book form, but there is still the flavor and style of a talk throughout much of this book. I have not attempted to change this for several reasons, the main reason being that it works in conveying the multi-leveled message that I wish to communicate.

One of the reasons for the human dilemma, for the confusion that humans have felt about the meaning and purpose of life, is that more than one level of reality comes into play in the experience of being human. Trying to apply the Truth of one level to the experience of another has caused humans to become very confused and twisted in our perspective of the human experience. It is kind of like the difference between playing the one-dimensional chess that we are familiar with, and the three-dimensional chess played by the characters of Star Trek - they are two completely different games.

That is the human dilemma - we have been playing the game with the wrong set of rules. With rules that do not work. With rules that are dysfunctional.

I was terrified beyond description the first time I gave this talk in June of 1991. It seemed as if emotional memories of what it felt like to be stoned to death by an angry mob were assaulting my being. I went ahead with it anyway, because it is what I needed to do for myself. I needed to stand up in public and own my Truth. I needed to own the Truth that I had come to believe in, the Truth that worked for me to allow me to find some happiness, peace, and Joy in my life. I found that other people found Joy and peace in my message also.

So now I share this message with you, the reader of this book, in the hopes that it will help you to remember the Truth of who you are, and why you are here. This information is not meant to be absolute or the final word - it is meant as an alternative perspective for you to consider. A Cosmic Perspective that just might help to make life an easier, more enjoyable experience for you.

Sacred Spiral

Here is a helpful link if you are looking for support for people with drinking problems.

New Addition:  November 11,  2001 - Acknowledgments

In writing Chapter 9 of the online book Attack on America - A  Spiritual Healing Perspective that I am publishing in the fall of 2001, I got in touch with a strong desire to get in contact with some of the people who had a profound impact on my healing and awakening process.  This desire has surfaced previously, and I have done internet searches from time to time in an attempt to track down some of these people - but with no success.  I did connect with one of the people a few months ago because one of my phone counseling clients was able to tell me how to track him down.

The person I was thinking specifically about in writing that chapter was a family therapist at the Sierra Tucson Treatment Center in Tucson Arizona which I had the great gift of experiencing for 30 days in the spring of 1988.  Her name was Jana Cunningham, and she is the person I mention - in several places in my writing - who told me that I was a mystic.

The thought came to mind that perhaps if I include the Acknowledgments page of my book here on my web site for the first time, that eventually some of those people might find the page and get in contact.  So that is what I am doing.  This Author's Foreword page seems to be the perfect place to add those names so this is where I am adding the information from the Acknowledgments page of my book Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.  Thanks again to these people, and drop me a line if you discover this. ;-)

Robert (formerly known as Rob) Burney 11-11-01

This book is dedicated to:
the wounded souls, the wounded children, in all of us.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

The author extends grateful acknowledgment to the following people who were messengers and teachers at vitally important times in the evolution of this book:
Claudia Black -
for being real, for being a friend, for being an angel on my path.

Marianne Duncan -
for the reminder that I am a Spiritual Being meant to sing a song of Joy.

Jana Cunningham -
for having the openness and willingness to be the messenger of a most vital message.

Lou Catchings -
for pushing, encouraging, and planting the self-publishing seed.

Jane Vaughn -
for being there when I very much needed a friend, as were Vicki Carlson, Derek Gordon, Terri Roehm & Louie Bennington.

With special thanks to those teachers and messengers of Truth whose courage and willingness have been such a shining Light in the darkness, especially
Richard Bach, Melody Beattie, & John Bradshaw.
And to Betty Ford for bringing alcoholism out of the closet.
And to the people who have touched my life and helped me grow, including:
Eleanor Blake, Jessica Stacy, Cynthia Shelton, Deirdre Dunn, Robert Lugbauer, Scott Mason, Becka Morgan, Steve Gressler, Carol Ann Arrents, Julie the family therapist, Bobbie Empey, Cynthia Burr, Jane Duff, Delia Marsellos, Lee Ryan, Ann Lee, Marty Coffee, Dr. George Henderson, Mary Beth Rossiter, Sally Burns, Brandi Wood, Francis Wise, Lance Yellowhand, and many others.
And to my Father and Mother for being absolutely the best parents they knew how to be.
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Spiritual teacher, codependency therapist Robert Burney
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Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney is copyright 1995.  Material on Joy2MeU web sites (except where otherwise noted) is copyright 1996 thru 2015 by Robert Burney  PO Box 98 Fallbrook CA 92088.