"Positive Affirmations are the single most powerful and vital tool in the Recovery process.  Codependence is a condition caused by growing up in a shame-based, emotionally dishonest society which teaches us false beliefs about the nature and purpose of life.  We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience, not shameful, sinful human creatures who have to earn Spiritual salvation"

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We learned to negatively affirm ourselves several hundred times a day - it is very important to start taping over the old tapes with positive affirmations!


This is a page of Joy to You and Me

The Web Site of Robert Burney and Joy to You and Me Enterprises.

Robert Burney is a codependence therapist, Spiritual teacher, and the author of the Joyously inspirational book

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls.

Quotations in maroon are from Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney (Copyright 1995). Quotations from columns & articles (Copyright 1996, 1997, 1998) written by Mr. Burney are noted and in blue text. Blue text material that is not in quotes is from Robert's upcoming book Wounded Souls Dancing in the Light (Copyright 1998) unless otherwise noted. There are several authors quoted in excerpts from The Dance of Wounded Souls, those are noted with copyright acknowledgment at the end of the applicable page.


This is a column by Robert Burney 
 

Positive Affirmations

by Robert Burney M.A.

“A “state of Grace” is the condition of being Loved unconditionally by our Creator without having to earn that Love.  We are Loved unconditionally by the Great Spirit.  What we need to do is to learn to accept that state of Grace.

The way we do that is to change the attitudes and beliefs within us that tell us that we are not Lovable.” 

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls  by Robert Burney

 Positive Affirmations are the single most powerful and vital tool in the Recovery process.  Codependence is a condition caused by growing up in a shame-based, emotionally dishonest society which teaches us false beliefs about the nature and purpose of life.  We are Spiritual Beings having a human experience, not shameful, sinful human creatures who have to earn Spiritual salvation.

I am a Magnificent Spiritual Being full of Light and Love!

Our attitudes create our perspectives which in turn dictate our relationships. In order to change our relationship with life, and with ourselves, we need to change our attitudes and belief systems about the nature and purpose of life. 

God wants me to be happy, healthy, Loved, and successful!

The Light within me is creating miracles in my life here and now.

Abundance is my natural state of being. I accept it now!

All of my experiences are opportunities to gain more power, clarity, and vision.

Positive affirmations are so vital in Recovery because we all have a critical parent voice inside that judges and shames us; that negatively affirm us hundreds of times a day.  It takes a lot of reprogramming to start accepting that we are Lovable and unconditionally Loved.

The entire Universe Loves me, serves me, nurtures me, and wants me to win.

I am a radiant expression of the Goddess energy/Great Spirit/Christ within.

I am always in the right place at the right time, successfully engaged in the right activity.

I am radiantly beautiful and vibrantly healthy and Joyously alive.

What we focus on is what we create.  In order to change what we are creating we must choose to change the way we think and work on letting go of the subconscious beliefs we learned in childhood.

I am the co-creator of my life, I am fully involved in co-creating my life in an exciting, Joyous, and harmonious way.

I am now celebrating life, having fun and enjoying myself.

I am glad I was born and I Love being alive.

I Love myself and naturally attract Loving relationships into my life.

I send Love to my fears.  My fears are the places within me that await my Love.

Large, rich, opulent, lavish, financial surprises are now manifesting in my life and I am grateful!

Affirmations work!  They work miraculously because they help us align with the Universal Truth of an Unconditionally Loving God-Force. 

" . . . I am going to make a brief point about two dimensions of this phenomena in relationship to empowerment. These two dimensions are the horizontal and the vertical. In this context the horizontal is about being human and relating to other humans and our environment. The vertical is Spiritual - about our relationship to the God-Force.  Codependence is at it's core a Spiritual disease and the only way out of it is through a Spiritual cure - so any recovery, any empowerment, depends upon Spiritual awakening."

(Column "Empowerment" By Robert Burney)

The Spirit speaks from Love not shame!

The “small quiet voice” of intuition is telling us the Truth.

We learned to negatively affirm ourselves several hundred times a day - it is very important to start taping over the old tapes with positive affirmations!

Positive Affirmations

I am a capable person. 
I am a competent person. 
I am an intelligent person.
I am a worthwhile person. 
I can dare to take a risk. 
I am entitled to good. 
 I choose to be happy. 
I can ask for what I want. 
I can say what I feel.
I am a radiant expression of God.
 I trust and follow my inner guidance.
I am an unlimited being. 
I can create anything I want. 
I picture abundance for myself and others.
I have a right to exist.
I can dare to see what I see.
I can dare to think what I think. 
I can dare to question anything. 
I can dare to feel what I feel.
I have a right  to come to my own conclusions.
I am Happy Joyous and Free.
I have a right to make mistakes. 
I have a right to be wrong.
I have within myself the answers to all my needs. 
I am a beautiful person.
I am free to be me.
I do not need to prove myself. 
My mind and body are now in balance and harmony and manifest divine perfection. 
I accept responsibilities in my life happily and enthusiastically. 
I am the master of my being and an active co-creator of my life.

If we Truly believed the positive affirmations we would not have to say them.  When we most need to say them is when we least believe them - when we are feeling the worst.  The source of all of our wounds ultimately is feeling abandoned by God, feeling unlovable to our Creator.

 
The disease (the dark side of the Force) learned to try to control feelings and behavior with fear, guilt and shame.

The programming of the disease was negative - to react to life from fear, lack, and scarcity. It is trying to protect us by keeping us from trusting. It believes separation is what is safe.

"To the disease, this is a functional cycle. The shame begets the self-abuse which begets the shame which serves the purpose of the disease which is to keep us separate so the we don't set ourselves up to fail by believing that we are worthy and lovable." 

(Column "A Dance of Suffering, Shame, and Self-abuse"by Robert Burney)

The entire Universe Loves me, serves me, nurtures me and wants me to win.
 I am a success to the degree that I feel warm and loving to myself.
My debts represent my & others beliefs in my future earning ability.
The most important thing to my loved ones’ happiness is that I be happy first.
My value and worth are increased by every thing I do. 
All my experiences are opportunities to gain more power, clarity and vision.
I can fill all my needs if I am willing to pay the price.
I have a right to ask for and expect something in life.
Comparison of myself with another is meaningless. 
I am the center of my universe; my world revolves around me.
The Christ/Goddess/Spirit within me is creating miracles in my life here and now.

We can tell ourselves good things!

I AM a magnificent Spiritual being having a Joyous and exciting human adventure!

"Integrating the Spiritual Truth (the vertical) of an unconditionally Loving God-Force into our process is vital in order to take the crippling toxic shame about being imperfect humans out of the equation. That toxic shame is what makes it so hard for us to own our right to make choices instead of just reacting to someone else set of rules." 

 (Column "Empowerment" By Robert Burney)
The disease has radar it can detect someone who feels familiar energetically in a crowded room.

"In our disease defense system we build up huge walls to protect ourselves and then - as soon as we meet someone who will help us to repeat our patterns of abuse, abandonment, betrayal, and/or deprivation - we lower the drawbridge and invite them in.  We, in our Codependence, have radar systems which cause us to be attracted to, and attract to us, the people, who for us personally, are exactly the most untrustworthy (or unavailable or smothering or abusive or whatever we need to repeat our patterns) individuals - exactly the ones who will 'push our buttons.'

"This happens because those people feel familiar.  Unfortunately in childhood the people whom we trusted the most - were the most familiar - hurt us the most.  So the effect is that we keep repeating our patterns and being given the reminder that it is not safe to trust ourselves or other people."

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

We need to own that we have the power to choose where to focus our mind. We can consciously start viewing ourselves from the “witness” perspective.   It is time to fire the judge - our critical parent - and choose to replace that judge with our Higher Self - who is a loving parent. We can then intervene in our own process to protect ourselves from the perpetrator within - the critical parent/disease voice.

(Article "Learing to Love your self" by Robert Burney)

Progress ~ not perfection. 

We are works in progress, 
in process.

We need to stop giving power to the monster within.

"We need to turn down the volume on those loud, yammering voices that shame and judge us and turn up the volume on the quiet Loving voice.  As long as we are judging and shaming ourselves we are feeding back into the disease, we are feeding the dragon within that is eating the life out of us."     Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls



 "The "critical parent" voice in my head has always berated me for not being perfect, for being human. My expectations, the "shoulds," my disease piled on me were a way in which I victimized myself. I was always judging, shaming and beating myself up because as a little child I got the message that something was wrong with me. 

There is nothing wrong with me - or you. It is our relationship with ourselves and life that is dysfunctional. We are Spiritual beings who came into body in an emotionally dishonest, Spiritually hostile environment where everyone was trying to do human according to false belief systems. We were taught to expect life to be something that it isn't. It isn't our fault that things are so screwed up it is however our responsibility to change the things we can within ourself." 

(Column "Expectations" By Robert Burney)

"I needed to learn how to set boundaries within, both emotionally and mentally by integrating Spiritual Truth into my process. Because "I feel feel like a failure" does not mean that is the Truth. The Spiritual Truth is that "failure" is an opportunity for growth." 

Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls

 "The part of you that tells you that you are not lovable, that you are not worthy, that you are not deserving, is the disease. It is trying to maintain control because that is all that it knows how to do. 

We are not "better than." We are also not "less than." The messages that we are "better than" come from the same place that the messages of "less than" come from: the disease. 

We are all children of God who deserve to be happy. 

And if you are right now judging yourself for not being happy enough or healed enough - that is your disease talking. Tell it to fuck off!! 

It is not who you are - it is only a part of you. We can stop giving power to that part of us. We can stop being the victims of ourselves."

My dreams come true. 

I live in an abundant Universe.  

I radiate self-esteem, inner peace, Love, well-being, health, and happiness.  

I create money and abundance through Joy, aliveness and self-Love.  

I am vibrantly healthy, radiantly beautiful, and Joyously alive. 

The Light within me is creating miracles in my body mind and relationships here and now.  

I am now celebrating my life, having fun and enjoying myself.  

I am always deeply relaxed and centered, balanced in every way. 

I am whole and balanced within myself. 

I always have everything I need. 

I am enough. 

 (The positive affirmations come from a variety of sources some are original, some unknown.  Many come directly from, while others are inspired by, the work of Shakti Gawain - whom I recommend very highly.)
(The Star Wars images are courtesy of the official Star Wars web site.)
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Copyright 1998 by Robert Burney    PO Box 977 Cambria, CA 93428
(The Column "Positive Affirmations" by Robert Burney originally appeared in the Information Press of San Luis Obispo California)
"Learing to Love your self" and  "A Dance of Suffering, Shame, and Self-abuse" appear on the web pages of the same name. "Empowerment" and  "Expectations" appear on the web page  Empowerment & victimization.