Mastectomy Advantage List

by Nancy Oster

As a large-breasted woman, I anticpated my bilateral mastectomies with anxiety and lots of questions about how the change would affect my self-image, particularly since I wasn't planning reconstruction. Almost two years later, I can honestly say it hasn't all been bad. Here are some of the suprise advantages.

• Jumping jacks are much easier.

• I can squeeze through smaller places sideways (a real advantage if parked close to a wall).

• I don't have to protect my breasts from errant elbows in a crowd.

• My silk blouses don't gap between the second and third buttons, ruining the whole effect.

• I no longer buy blouses with shoulder seams that hang down over my upper arm in order to get them large enough to cover my breasts.

• At a restaurant, food falls all the way to my lap.

• If I brush past a dirty wall, I don't walk away with two smudges on the front of my blouse.

• I can wear one-piece outfits.

• I can wear Laura Ashley and Jessica McClintock dresses.

• I can sleep on my stomach.

• My back doesn't hurt before my period.

• I no longer have a problem figuring out where to pin my nametag.

• No one else knows when I'm cold.

• When I go to the beach, I don't have to dig holes to lie on my stomach.

• At the end of a hard day's work, I can look forward to going home and taking off my breasts.

• The Nordstrom breasts are much perkier and my husband says we can buy new ones if these begin to sag.